(It’s not only) about coffee
Why drinking coffee can be the least important thing you do when you are drinking coffee.
Fernanda Braune
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine invited me to have coffee. I met her at the coffee shop and I ordered everything, but coffee. While she was updating me about the newest events in her life, I could only wander why I didn’t order coffee.
After putting a lot of thought in it, I realized two things:
1) I wasn’t addicted to coffee anymore;
2) I was addicted to the moments provided by having “a cup of coffee”
Is it just me? Is it just me that receives a coffee invitation and instead of drinking coffee, order Coke, tea or water?
I used to be addicted to coffee. It all started at my second year of college, when I had to wake up at 5:30 am and I couldn’t keep my eyes open during classes. A friend of mine recommended drinking one big cup of coffee every morning at breakfast and I did it.
My reaction to caffeine was pretty funny. As my body felt extremely awake, I couldn’t stop talking, nor moving my pen. I was so uncontrolled that a boy that barely talked to me asked what was happening with me that morning. I told him that I had coffee. “Oh, that explains it”, he replied.
In the beginning, I only had coffee during days that I had class because, in my mind, I was only drinking coffee to stay awake. A couple weeks later, I started doing it also over the weekends and it took me another fifteen days to accept my first invitation to have coffee during the afternoon.
The morning coffee was a completely different experience from the afternoon coffee. Breakfast was early and lonely. However, the afternoon experience involved cute and charming places smelling of coffee, offering delicious chocolate cakes and a good amount of conversation.
For years, I tricked myself thinking that the amount of coffee I had was proportionate to the amount of sleepiness that I felt, but that wasn’t the actual situation. Every time I had more coffee than I should, I’d feel shaky and with a terrible headache. That’s why I have always been careful with the amount of caffeine I had per day. What was happening was that I was drinking a very small cup of coffee many times a day (sometimes even DECAF!) just to have that moment.
Then I got to that point that I was invited to have coffee, I didn’t order coffee, and if I did I would probably order decaf because too much caffeine isn’t good for the health. What was happening, people????
It’s not that I don’t like coffee. I do. I reeeeally do. Sometimes, I still even drink a big cup of it to stay awake. But it’s not like the beginning. The relationship has evolved and it got to a higher level. It’s not only about the coffee itself, but it’s about the moment that having a cup of coffee represents.
Think about it. How many memorable moments have you had after the questions: “Do you wanna grab a cup of coffee?”, “Can we discuss this while we have coffee?”, or even “There is this new coffee shop. Do you wanna go?” You don’t necessarily need to order coffee; you just need to be in a place that serves it.
Coffee is an excuse to discuss your last discovery. Coffee is an excuse to get to know more of that woman/man you are interested in. Coffee is an excuse to take a break from work or your studies. Coffee is an excuse to get to know more about Amsterdam. Coffee is an excuse to leave class. Coffee is an excuse to extend your meeting. Coffee is an excuse to feel welcomed and cozy on a cold day. Coffee is an excuse to take a deep breath and take five minutes of the day to yourself.
Once, I commented on a friend’s post on Instagram and she replied saying she was missing me and we should have a cup of coffee. Right after that, another girl (that I don’t really know) criticized my friend for inviting me for a cup of coffee and not a glass of beer. My friend responded saying: “Oh you don’t know Nanda. If you want to meet her, you have to invite her for a cup of coffee”.
At the time, I felt proud of myself when she said that, but I didn’t know why. Now I do. The “coffee moment” for me is sacred. I have it every day (sometimes even more than once). It can be in the morning when I listen to my house cleaner talk about her son, or in the afternoon at the hair salon, or with my family and friends while we talk about our day.
There is something magical about the “coffee moment”. It has a therapeutic effect. You are either listening, complaining, comforting, simply enjoying your instants of peace or wandering about unimportant stuff, like I was doing while my friend was telling me about her last shopping experience at the new mall.
