Last year.

I remember like it was yesterday — October 27th, 2015.

I remember sitting at my desk reading an e-mail from our office manager that said:

“Very serious car accident on M-14, seek an alternative route home.”

This wasn’t the first, nor the last e-mail we’ve received warning about traffic, so I brushed it off. It took me several hours to get home that night, but didn’t think anything of it. I sat down with my Dad and grabbed dinner.

Less than 5 minutes into our meal, we got a call from a close family friend.

Alex was in that car accident, and he passed away.

Although I didn’t hear it, my Dad’s reaction implied fear and disbelief. I sat there questioning why he was starting to cry. He hung up the phone told me the news. From that point forward, my life has never been the same.

To give some more context, Alex and I were best friends. We weren’t just school or summer camp best friends, we were real best friends. We would spend every weekend together, often times rotating houses for sleepovers. When I received the news, I was devastated. I still am. However, I know how Alex would have handled this all — if the roles were reversed. He would have kept smiling and laughing, because that’s what we would both want for each other.

Shortly after Alex’s funeral and shiva, a couple of his close friends came together to write a note for his parents. I figure it’s only suiting that I share that today.

A simple, “I miss you” — doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. There hasn’t been a day that passes where I’m not thinking about Alex, and truthfully — I don’t ever want there to be. Alex was the best friend that anyone could have ever asked for. It’s hard to even begin to describe our memories and fun times, so instead I wanted to narrow it down to the four most important things that Alex ever taught me.

Being Smart Is “Cool”

When Alex and I first started going to school together in sixth grade, it was no secret that he was a genius. I was in all of the basic classes, while Alex was in the advanced courses. Fortunately, Alex and I were able to share science class that year. Over those two semesters, Alex had perfected his patented move of finishing homework before the end of class. We would only have two minutes (between the teacher handing out the assignment and before the bell rang), but every single time Alex was able to complete his homework with 100% accuracy. That year, it became clear to me that doing your homework (before the bell rang) was a lot cooler than not doing your homework.

As the years went on, it became increasingly clear that Alex was actually a genius. Alex would solve the most complicated math and science questions with ease. Alex was everyone’s go-to for help. Even though we didn’t get to go to high school or college together, I would constantly hear how Alex aced an exam without even studying. However, he was often too humble to ever admit it.

One of the most important lessons Alex ever taught me about school and life was to just simply listen. I remember, I would always ask Alex — how do you know this stuff so well? And he would always respond with: “I just listened and engaged in class. It’s a lot easier than teaching yourself it later.”

That stuck with me, and quickly became my strategy in high school and college. Alex was absolutely the original trendsetter for making smart cool.

Sing When You Are Scared

Everyone who knew Alex well, knows of his deep love for hip-hop, rap, and music in general. Alex, the white jewish kid from suburbia, knew the lyrics of every single Wu-Tang Clan song.

When we were 12 or 13, we participated in an activity at summer camp called: Exodus. In short, Exodus was a fun activity where campers attempted to run from one side of the summer camp to the other at 3AM, while trying to not get caught by counselors (who had flashlights). The staff organized it, and most campers took the traditional route of the main roads/paths, thus barely making it 100ft.

Alex, on the other hand, decided to create his own path deep in the woods. I followed him, and quickly got scared. I mean…we were 12 years old running around in the middle of woods at 3AM. Alex and I could see some counselors coming in our direction, so we dove head first into the woods. I remember telling him I was afraid of the dark and scared to keep moving forward. Instead of laughing at me, he started softly rapping: Juicy by Biggie Smalls.

‘It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up! Magazine, Salt-n-Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine’

He kept going until I joined in on some of the parts I knew. It instantly calmed me down, and we kept humming the tune softly until we made it 3/4 of the distance. I wish we could say that we ended up “winning” the activity, but we were among the last five campers to get caught.

I asked him several years later why he started rapping that night, and he explained that he, too, was scared, and singing was the best way for him to remain calm.

To this day, when times get rough or I get scared, I find myself humming the tunes of Juicy by Biggie Smalls. Music was such a large part of Alex’s life, and after learning about that, it became a little clearer why he loved music so much.

Always Smile

Alex had the brightest and most radiant smile in the world. Many people were legitimately convinced that Alex couldn’t frown. However, very few people knew that Alex could actually do the best frowny face ever. It was essentially his big smile, but turned completely upside down.

There were countless scenarios throughout our friendship where it seemed like Alex’s smile got us into “trouble.” His smile was contagious, so it always led to others smiling or laughing. There were several times at camp where our cabin was getting in trouble for something, but Alex would still be sitting there smiling.

Over the years, we would constantly joke about how he was always smiling, and when people would ask him: “Why?” he always responded with a simple: “Why not?” It’s those type of answers that made everyone love Alex. There were very few times in our friendship when I saw Alex genuinely frowning.

Life Is Too Short

Alex and I were best friends for the vast majority of my life. It’s hard to imagine even a day without him by my side. We spent countless nights and weekends playing the newest video games or making videos of basketball trick shots.

Whenever we would get bored, he would always come up with a new game. Whether it was playing Hot Lava, or building forts, I can truthfully say I was never bored when I was with Alex. Life is too short to worry about the small things and Alex always knew that. He sung graciously when he faced fear. He listened tentatively, so he never had to ask twice. And most importantly, he always smiled…because “why not?” I can only hope that we all learn from these lessons and live our life’s to the fullest, in the same way that Alex did.