Break on through to the other side

Natasha Kurien
Personal Growth
Published in
4 min readSep 16, 2017
Photo by Tim Graf on Unsplash

and through it all,
the rise and the fall,
stand tall.

your world might tumble,
with every stumble,
break you on the inside,
shatter you to crumbs,
of your former existence,
but you choose
to put on a smile,
and don the role of the survivor,
who doesn't seem to care,
about anything around.

you may seem like the hero,
like it is integral,
to put up the facade,
make it seem like you are in charge,
that nothing can break you,
and in a lot of ways you are-
but i know how it feels on the inside,
to be caged within a situation,
to have full control over it,
and in an instant,
relinquish that control,
for a simple peek into adolescence.

i know how it felt when you had no place to go,
when all you wanted to do,
was break free,
but you couldn’t,
when the walls that you built around you,
so far and so wide,
with everyone you know in it,
came closing in,
cutting off people from the loop,
till all you were left with,
was a mind in a body,
that felt trapped.

i know what it felt like,
to be hauled accusations,
that you didn’t deserve,
to be undermined,
and gutted,
accused of something,
that tailed along,
for longer than it should have.

i know what it felt like,
to be defined,
to be written off,
to be looked down upon,
all because you were,
young and indecisive.

i know how that felt
how every day
was a day you didn’t want to wake up to,
how every day was just hope,
that somehow,
you’d escape everything,
how somehow,
just somehow you could undo it
somehow just wish it all away.

and somehow
despite the cage
the accusations
the ruthless beatings,
the doubt,
somehow through all of that,
you made it
maybe not all at once
but you did
without even realizing it.

easy or not,
challenging or not,
somehow through it all,
something got easier,
because you found somewhere to run to,
you had something to call an escape
even though one day
you would want to escape that too.

you made it to the other side,
this is the other side of that,
this is what you have fought to become,
this is what you struggled for,
this is what you wanted.

right from where it all began,
you wanted this,
stability,
to stand on your two feet,
do for yourself
what you weren’t given.
This is it.

don’t you forget why you’re here,
don’t you forget what led you here,
don’t you dare let comfort get in the way,
of that and this.

of that place where being,
was so hard,
that living was hell in itself,
don’t you forget,
what it felt like to be,
kept caged in a place,
that you called home,
because you were being punished.

don’t take for granted what you have,
don’t you dare let anything,
get in the way of what you can be,
it’s comfortable,
sure as hell it is,
but don’t you forget.

through it all,
you stuck around,
you persisted,
and you held on,
to this,
to this idea,
to being exactly where you are right now,
and now you want,
to throw it all away?

because what,
things aren’t going according to plan?
when did they ever?
because what you tried your hand at something
and then failed?
not the first time that’s happening.

despite everything,
you picked yourself up,
you picked the tiny pieces up,
sewed them together,
so that no one on the outside,
could really see behind that façade,
because you put it up so well.

so no,
you don’t need to surround yourself by a million people,
you don’t need a hundred,
you just need a handful,
who have seen you,
for you,
and not just the pretty face,
you put up,
who have seen you in the worst of all times,
but still stood by you,
who didn’t know what to do,
or what to say,
or how to save you,
but still stuck around,
to just hold you hand,
and make you forget,
for just one tiny moment,
all that you were going through.

to help you move forward,
and that’s it,
to help you out,
you learn to love them,
and let them go,
when you have to,
because people and time,
don’t stick around,
half much as you want them to.

maybe that’s why
it’s not so easy to let people in,
maybe that’s why
there’s more to a person,
than what you see on the outside,
because the outside,
tells a different tale,
the real person,
hides behind the scars,
and has seen it all,
both the rise and the fall.

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Natasha Kurien
Personal Growth

On the road to self discovery-looking to make peace with the past, present and future. Living to learn and learning to live.