What to Do When Shit Hits The Fan — And It Will
“Enough. These few words are enough. If not these words, this breath. If no this breath, this sitting here. This opening to the life we have refused again and again until now…Until now.” — David Whyte
Can I be real with you for a second?
Shit will happen. You will be yelled at by your boss. Someone will take the credit for your work. A person you love will pass away. Your dreams may not come true.
I’m not saying this to depress you but to highlight the fact that there are external factors that are beyond our control. We cannot stop the world from providing a stimulus that will cause stress and anxiety, but we do have the ability to change our perception to that event.
It is vital to see that it is your perception that makes a situation negative. For example, think about skydiving. Some people wouldn’t jump out of a plane with a gun held to their head, while others do it professionally. The difference? The latter views this experience in a positive light, while the former views it in a negative one.
Neither are the “right” way to respond, but you need to be mindful of how your unconscious thoughts and emotions are changing your perception of an event. Your stress is often made worse when your perception views a situation as a threat. Sometimes this is helpful, but most of the time it’s not.
How can you correct this?
By moving from mindless reaction to mindful recognition of what triggers your stress, and developing a keen awareness of it. This heightened awareness has the potential to drastically change whatever stressful situation you may find yourself in, be just waking the fuck up to it.
And that is what mindfulness training enables you to do.
How I Handle Stress In the Moment
As you continue your mindfulness practice, you will develop your own unique methods for handling stress in the moment, but here is the checklist I follow when shit hits the fan:
1. Become aware as soon as possible that you are becoming stressed out and accept them. If you have been stressed before, you know exactly what this feels like. A simple tip is to say to yourself, “I’m getting stressed right now.” Do no try to run away from the feeling, no matter how strong.
2. Get in your body. Now that you are aware of stressing arising go to where you feel it in the body. Scan your neck, face, shoulders allowing your breath to flow in and out of these areas.
3. Breathe. This is what we have been training for the last 16 days. Take a deep inhale, feeling your stomach fill up, then hold for a second, then exhale all of the air in your lungs.
4. Assess The Monkey Mind. Okay, now that you have anchored your self in the body and breath, it is okay to see how reactive you are being in the moment. Try to see the situation like a third part would. Or think about how would a child feel in this situation.
5. Respond Skillfully. Intentionally, move forward with skillful action.
Like I said above, it is inevitable that shit will hit the fan, but mindfulness will allow you to respond skillfully and not be taken away with the thoughts. Remember, you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Go Deeper
Are you ready to wake up, get more focused, and find more happiness in your life?
If so, sign up for my free 21 Day Mindfulness Email Course. I’ll be sending you an email every day that will help you reduce stress, increase focus, and find more happiness!
If you are ready to take back control of your life and start living above stress and overwhelm…
One last thing…
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