Ruined by habitual unhappiness

A black hole in the human psyche

Thomas Oppong
Personal Growth
Published in
4 min readJun 23, 2024

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Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash

Unhappiness, like a weed, can grow roots fast. You let it grow, day after day, and its roots get deep into your thoughts, overpowering the possibility of joy. Negative self-talk becomes your habit. “I can’t,” “What’s the point?” You tell yourself, “This is just who I am.” But is it? Are you truly hardwired for misery, or have you become comfortable with the dull life?

Psychotherapist and spiritual teacher Anthony de Mello said, “There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” Unhappiness grows stronger in the dark. It slowly takes over when you isolate yourself, stealing your joy and isolating you from your connections.

Habitual unhappiness turns life into a string of dissatisfied experiences. You miss the good parts, pushing away joy like your unhappy life is better without it. We all have bad days. But unhappiness that sticks around, that becomes your default setting is a recipe for a lousy life. It rewires your perception, turning even good experiences into nightmares. It pushes people away. Unhappiness accumulates because you see no end to the dark tunnel.

Habitual unhappiness is a black hole ( “an area in space where gravity is so strong…

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Thomas Oppong
Personal Growth

Making the wisdom of great thinkers instantly accessible. As seen on Forbes, Inc. and Business Insider. For my popular essays, go here: https://thomasoppong.com