The Conversations We Have With Strangers
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When we were little, our parents always told us not to talk to strangers. And now that we’re grown up, we don’t need anyone to tell us not to talk to strangers because it’s been embedded in our consciousness.
Unfortunately, this mentality can extend far beyond not talking to strangers. It can extend so far that we are closed off from the world around us. Closed off from new ideas. Closed off from different perspectives. Closed off from the unknown. Closed off from anything that might get in our way or prevent us from reaching whatever goal we’re trying to reach.
Many of us are so used to operating in this manner that we can forget there is no end to the wonderful and exotic perspectives that exist in the world. Often times, it is only when we are forced to open ourselves up that we are reminded of things we knew existed but were unable to acknowledge because we were closed off from them.
Now that we’re older, talking to strangers isn’t so much a scary proposition as it is an uncomfortable one. When we invariably find ourselves in this uncomfortable position, it’s usually in a forced setting. At a bar. On a subway platform. At the laundromat. In a waiting room. At a party. Many of these situations put us in vulnerable positions, and these positions can sometimes bring out the deepest parts of a person.
In most cases, the conversations that are born out of these situations are not significant. The casual — and often times forced — “what do you do?” or “where are you from?” conversations where pleasantries are exchanged as both people trade hollow stares while they wait for their turn to talk are situations that many people dread and openly mock.
But sometimes we find that rare occasion when you and a complete stranger are, for whatever reason, in lock step with one another as if you have known the other person for decades. Instead of pleasantries, you find the conversation revolving around important personal details and life truths that are instantly relatable. Instead of being disengaged and waiting for your turn to talk, you are riveted and listening intently.
You realize that this stranger has an entire world and story that you couldn’t possibly comprehend until just a few seconds ago. Their whole existence, which you’re finding out is rich and detailed and beautiful and painful and incredibly human, did not exist as far as you were aware. But now, with the simple act of conversation, this entire world, this entire human being, is real and alive and exposed to you. All of a sudden, you ache for them. You feel them. You understand things from their point of view. You learn about their hopes and dreams and struggles and weaknesses, and you realize that these things they carry around are not so different from what you have been carrying around.
It can be incredibly overwhelming and powerful.
And when we’ve encountered the right stranger on the right day, it can feel like we’ve known them our whole lives even though we’ve only been talking for five minutes.
But maybe we do know them in some way. Maybe there are certain unsaid and unspoken things that are understood when certain people are talking. Maybe there are experiences and ways in which we perceive the world that are so essential and relatable it doesn’t matter how long we’ve known someone.
In these rare moments I’ve realized that it’s possible to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with strangers than our closest loved ones.
And it’s in these moments where we are reminded that the nameless people we walk past every day actually have names. They are not obstacles or objects we have to deal with or negotiate or avoid to get through our day. They are people who have wants and dreams and desires and hopes and fears just like we do.
These conversations we have with strangers let us know that there are other people out there who feel what we feel. They let us know that there are other existences that are just as real as our own. They let us know that just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. They let us know that we’ve been missing out on so much in our closed off state.
More than anything, these conversations we have with strangers let us know that we’re still alive and that the world is a very real and very beautiful place.
