The Flame of Discontent

Far too often we find ourselves squishing whatever we are feeling through comparison. We don’t allow ourselves to feel discontent. We don’t allow ourselves to feel utterly hopeless. Even when we do, we hope that one fine day all our so called “allowing” or “spiritualizing” or “self-helping” or whatever it is that we are into will take us to a place that has no discontent. But, there is no such place. At least not in the way that we envision it. Life moves in cycles and only when we allow ourselves to be completely corroded by sorrow can we see passion. Only when we allow ourselves to be defeated by hopelessness can we see hope and so on.

So we must gather ourselves with whatever strength that we find ourselves having in this moment to face whatever it is that is in front of us. This gathering is what I know to be “satsang” — Company of the holy, which is nothing but the company of your own being. It is only when we can see through the fragmentary parts and how it operates and prevents this gathering can we abide with and as ourselves fully. But this fragmentation and its contradictory pulls, first brings about a state of discontent and discontent is directly linked to our desire to fixate.

We must let the flame of discontent consume us so it continually acts as a boat that carries us to the other shore of passion, love and beauty. But again we must not think that we will eternally manage to station ourselves in this shore of bliss, because in our process of evolution we will continually find ourselves fixating upon something or another. It starts with the gross things and becomes increasingly subtle until we find that we may have let go of everything else, but now we have begun to fixate on the need to not fixate. So, we need to gradually let go of even the need to not fixate.

Then, it becomes okay. Everything becomes okay. Even not okay becomes okay. Just a continual unfolding of opposites. We come to accept that the fire of life is created by rubbing the two stones of opposites. Without one there isn't the other. The wise ones make peace with this and keep quiet. Maybe this is what is meant by true contentment.