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Personal Growth

Practical wisdom for life drawn from philosophy, psychology, spirituality and personal experiences.

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Whatever You Are Not Changing, You Are Choosing

4 min readMay 13, 2025

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Photo by kevin turcios on Unsplash

Author Laurie Buchanan, PhD, said that. I repeat: “Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.” If I stay stuck, it’s because I’m allowing it. I’m choosing it. If there’s something in your life you don’t like and you’re not doing anything about it, you’ve chosen it. Every day you don’t act, you are silently saying, “Yes, I’ll take more of this.”

It’s the simplest but brutal truth.

It’s uncomfortable because it points the finger back at you. It removes excuses. No more blaming the system, the job, the partner, the past. It may not apply to complicated circumstances. Some things are genuinely hard to change. Illness. Trauma. Systemic control. But even in those cases, there’s still something you can control.

Your mindset. Your effort. Your response.

You can’t always change everything. But you can change how you show up in it. That still counts. That still transforms your life.

For most things in our control, the wisdom still applies. Like your health choices, relationship behaviours, daily habits, routines or rituals.

Clarity is power.

And Buchanan’s quote is pure clarity.

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Personal Growth
Personal Growth

Published in Personal Growth

Practical wisdom for life drawn from philosophy, psychology, spirituality and personal experiences.

Thomas Oppong
Thomas Oppong

Written by Thomas Oppong

The wisdom of great minds. My essays cross between psychology, philosophy and self-improvement.

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