Why am I here???
Finding the purpose of life.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Few days ago I came across a heartbreaking news of the demise of a popular Indian actress.
She was just 44 years of age.
She had a heart attack while performing on the stage. By the time she was taken to the hospital, she was declared dead.
While working in the Indian television industry, I had an opportunity to meet and work with many renowned artists.
Even though I never met this actress,I always admired her work. Those who knew her personally spoke very highly of her.
The news of her passing away, all of a sudden, was a terrible shock for everyone.
This got me thinking. Just 44 years?
That’s it?
It’s scary to realize how uncertain life can be. It can happen to anyone at anytime. In a split of a moment we can either lose someone very close to us or it can be the end of our own story.
I am not being paranoid, but whenever I hear such terrible news of untimely deaths, oceans of thoughts flow through my mind.
We have always been listening to the advice, “Live everyday as if it was your last.”
But do we genuinely follow that?
I understand it’s not practical to have that kind of mindset in our busy day to day lives, but don’t you think sometimes we just need to pause and do an honest revaluation of our lives?
Shouldn’t we ask ourselves these questions every now and then?
- Why am I here for?
- What is it that I want from life?
- How would I like my loved ones to remember me when I am gone?
- Are my actions , my decisions egoistic or altruistic?
- Am I making any difference in this world?
- What matters at the end?
- What am I running after and is it worth?
While speaking at a convention for AARP’s Life@50+ , Chris Gardner said ,“Someday you are going to lose someone you love and you gonna have to re-imagine your whole life.”
He said that, you begin to re-imagine everything in your life when life happens.
Re-imagining everything, taking an honest look at how our actions and choices have impinged upon our life and that of our loved ones.
Losses, they can come in any form.
It can be a broken relationship, a lost job, deteriorated health, heartbreak or loss of life.
These are unpredictable, uncertain and when they come they, bring along a change. A change in our perspective towards life, a change in the way we used to do certain things.
They sometimes wake us up, show us the mirror, reveal our true relationships.
They make us humble, grounded.
But my point is, why wait until something unfortunate happens?
Why can’t we reinvent our lives at this very moment?
Why can’t we take a genuine look at our lives and fix the problem before it’s too late?
We have all heard the saying, ‘A stitch in time saves nine.’
Doesn’t this apply to our lives as much as it does to our work?
The journey of life -
Imagine you are driving to an unfamiliar destination. The GPS lady is very efficiently giving you all the directions. You are following the directions given by her while you listen to your favorite songs. It’s a beautiful drive. You are having a great time.
Suddenly you find yourself at a dead end. You begin to wonder where exactly are you.
Just then the GPS lady speaks in a cheerful voice, “You have reached your destination.”
You are confused.
You start thinking, ‘This can’t be right. This is not my destination. This is definitely not where I wanted to go. How did I end up here???’
Then what do you do?
You start making an effort. You reassess the directions on your phone. You might call one of your friends and ask for help. You drive around the block looking at the road signs and try to find a way to reach your destination.
That’s because, at this point, you’ve realized that you can’t blindly rely on the GPS. Right?
Now think about this. At a certain point of your life’s journey, you find out that you’ve been following the wrong directions all along.
You’ve been blindly taking the path your day to day routine has laid for you and that path has directed you to someplace where you never wanted to go. It’s the dead end.
At that point you might realize ‘ This is not where I wanted to be. How did I end up here? Where did I go wrong?’
You can’t turn back the time, so what do you do?
You start picking up the pieces. Start mending the broken relationships. You start re-inventing your life.
Why wait till we reach the dead end?
Why not be proactive when everything appears to be fine? Why not take a break every now and then and reflect if we are on the right track or not? Wouldn’t it save us from many regrets and heartbreaks?
I understand that it’s not possible for us to do everything right.
I am not saying that we should live under the constant fear of making wrong choices.
Cause no matter how much we try, there are many things that are not in our control. No matter how mindful we are, not everything is gonna turn out the way we had planned.
However learning from our experiences and taking complete responsibility of any situation is very important.
Finding your purpose -
What matters in the end?
We all have different goals and ambitions. However all these goals are just the stepping stones towards the kind of life we desire.
Many times though we ourselves are not clear of what exactly we want.
So we lose track, we wander through life.
Sometimes unfortunately, we recognize what we’ve always wanted, after we’ve lost that thing.
Just think about this for a moment. Isn’t that the saddest truth of life?
We become like that small child who cries for the toy that’s just been taken away from him. He might not be even looking at that toy all this time, but now that’s all he wants. He cries, he screams because he knows that he can no longer have it.
We often begin to acknowledge the importance of the moments, the people, the relationships, after they are gone.
Living your life to the fullest -
When people say, ‘Live your life to the fullest’, what does it mean?
Does it mean, party hard?
Does it mean , travel around and see the world?
Does it mean go for your dreams?
Does it mean do whatever your heart desires?
Does it mean live a carefree life?
May be all of the above things lead to a fun filled life. They are also important but there is definitely more to it.
These things are just instant gratifications. They contribute towards a good life but they don’t make a worthy, fulfilled life.
They might give us satisfaction for sometime but their effect is temporary. Once they lose their spark, their novelty, they don’t matter to us as much.
So what does making the most of your life mean?
It means living with a purpose.
It means that, when we look back at our life, all we have is smile on our face. Our heart is filled with love, not regrets.
When, remembering the beautiful moments of our lives doesn’t make us sad but it makes us proud of the fact that we enjoyed each and every moment to the fullest. We did everything in our capacity to be present during these precious moments.
Knowing that we lived our life for something greater than ourselves.
That we were loyal to those who matter the most.
That we made bad choices, but, we took complete responsibility of our actions and treated every experience as a lesson.
That we fell down but we stood up.
That we were our best critics always looking for ways to make ourselves a better human being.
That we used our talents, our power, our wealth for selflessly helping someone. That we’ve made a difference in someone’s life.
Knowing that our loved ones will remember us as a person we always wanted to become.
When we say that we are doing everything we can to make our lives better, we should ask ourselves a question, “ Am I honestly?”
The answer will be hidden in the kind of life you are living. It will be hidden in your relationships with your loved ones. It will be hidden in your health, in your inner peace. Because this is what’s going to matter at the end.
It’s very important to slow down from time to time and try to hear the things that are not being said. Try to catch the initial indications, that tell us something is not right. Try to fix, what may seem like an insignificant problem before it turns into something big.
We have fought with millions of sperms to be able to get the privilege of being born in this world. Right?
Don’t you feel we have a lot of responsibility on us in return of this privilege?
Then why stress about and run after the things that are not even going to matter at the end? Why not define our lives, find a purpose and live a life to fulfill that purpose?
Why not cherish each and every moment, deeply connect with the people who are the part of our lives and help each other build a beautiful and memorable life?
Why not ask ourselves this question every now and then , “ Am I really doing enough to fulfill my role as a mother/ father/ daughter/ son/ wife/ husband/ friend and above all a human being? Or am I under the illusion that I am doing everything right?”
Life is a journey. A very unpredictable and exciting journey.
However in this journey we are not alone.
We have companions.
The people who either by nature or by our choice have embarked upon this journey with us.
No matter how many people there are in our social circle, no matter how many ‘friends’ we have on the social media, the truth is, we’ll have just a handful of real companions.
It’s better to take a break and check every now and then, whether our companions are still with us, emotionally.
Whether our actions, our choices are making them smile or giving them pain?Are we helping them to live the kind of life they deserve, giving them the love and attention they deserve?
Whether we are on the right path or do we need to re-assess our paths?
There is nothing more painful than ending up someplace we never wanted to be with no one by our side.
So let’s remind ourselves every now and then to live a life full of purpose.
A purpose that’s greater than our own selves.
A purpose that motivates us, keeps us grounded.
A purpose that defines our existence.
