When we feel like we’re not good enough — not worthy, it’s the result of comparing ourselves to what we’re not. We want to be more than what we are, so we can impress other people. We fear rejection.
From the moment we’re born we are vulnerable and dependant on other people. Rejection threatens our security — both our physical survival and our emotional survival.
We fear not being protected and not being loved. So we compare how we think others currently perceive us, with how they could potentially perceive us if we were to change.
We think about all the times we’ve been criticized, judged, ridiculed, rejected, abandoned, compared to others, etc. and we imagine that this is how most people think of us currently and will continue to think of us unless we change into what we think they will admire.
The truth is that most people are wrong about you and you are wrong about how most people perceive you.
Another way to think about all this is to imagine that you’re the last person on Earth. In other words, imagine there’s no one around to impress and there never will be again. How would that change what you think about yourself? Would you still feel unworthy? Would you still feel like you’re not good enough? Not good enough for what?
This whole feeling of not being good enough is an illusion we create. When there’s no one to compare ourselves to the illusion goes away.
Originally published on my personal blog LivingWithConfidence.net