On the trail of one of my biggest failures, I accepted an opportunity to do something I had never done. I didn’t tell many people about what happened nor did I tell anyone about this new opportunity. I just took a leap of faith and did it. Who wouldn’t have? I needed a job. More importantly, I needed money.
At first my thoughts were, “Don’t get too comfortable, this is only temporary” and in thinking so, I began to wrestle with God. I wrestled with why I was where I was, how I had I gotten there and ultimately began to map out my escape. Little did I know, my plans would not be going as planned.
After accepting this new opportunity my thoughts shifted again and I began to question myself once again. Was this the best decisions for me? Should I have just thrown in the towel and moved home when I had the chance? Were the shoes I agreed to step into much larger than I had anticipated? Questions and self talk that I had initiated all because I was “unsure”.
Months go by and I start to feel settled. I feel like I’m doing my best then here come some of those tricky questions and negative self talk again but this time I start saying “Girl get out while you’re ahead” and “This is not for you”. Why on earth did I do that? I’ll tell you, it’s because my mind and my heart weren’t in sync. I had prayed for this opportunity and had not made room in my heart to receive it.
Remember, I had just walked away from one of my biggest failures to date. What’s my point you wonder? Typical me would throw in a quote, more appropriately “If you stay ready, you won’t have to get ready” but I’m not (I’ll let you make a note of it though). This is more of a battle of the mind and staying the course. A battle between me saying “I am not enough” vs “I am enough”. It was apparent my self talk was taking me no where.
You may not always know where certain opportunities may lead you, but don’t let that keep you from stepping out on faith. At first, I didn’t think I had what it took to do what was being asked of me then I had to reassess my thoughts, my surroundings and change the way I had been talking to myself. Sometimes we allow something negative or a comparison from the past to derail us and end up talking ourselves out of things because our hearts and minds are simply not ready.
If you find that you are in a similar situation to where I had been at this particular moment, remind yourself: I AM ENOUGH (or whatever you choose to say) and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Besides, if you weren’t enough you wouldn’t have been given the opportunity in the first place.
Hope this helps someone!
*This piece was originally written June 2, 2015 then edited for Medium. | Follow me on Facebook