Depression is a timeline train wreck
This writing is from my insight into depression; what causes depression and how it is healed.
We are conditioned to perceive life moving along a timeline from the past through the present into the future. In this writing, metaphorically, we are a train running on the rails of our timeline.
Our past is at the rear of the train timeline, as are the baggage cars. We all carry baggage of repressed emotions and decisions we made up when we suffered traumas. These effectively influence how we behave today. We all have hurt baggage inside, and anger baggage from being hurt, and baggage with fear of being hurt again.
In front of the train is the engine and the future cars where we spend most all of our time. In between the past and future cars is the present moment of time, now car. We don’t focus much attention on what is now, unless we are lost in a creative endeavor or are sensually tempted.
The engine is the life energy of the train. When our life energy is balanced, when mind, body and spirit are one, we are healthy. This timeline train, however, is conditioned to be mind centered. We believe we are our thinking mind; body and spirit both missed the train.
The future cars hold our hopes, dreams, and desires. This is where we strategize, scheme, and endeavor to get what we want. We feel the time between desiring and getting what we want as tension; the greater the desire, the more tense we feel.
Life on the train goes along, according to our mindset, as time goes on, until a crisis, an unexpected turn of events, challenges our complacency. We suddenly find ourselves suffering; people we care about get sick and die, or we get sick or seriously injured, or we get depressed over a failed love relationship or business, etcetera…
Or, perhaps, we succeed beyond our wildest dreams, and then realize we are not happy and content. We try getting more and more of everything, but strangely more success does not fill our increasing emptiness.
We fall into a state of depression. We try to feel better, but we fail again and again, feeling only more depressed and hopeless. We can’t think clearly. We feel our repressed baggage of hurt, anger, and fear, surfacing; causing strong inappropriate reactions. We feel exhausted, and sleepy. Nothing is as it should be. We don’t even like what we used to enjoy. We can’t feel, we are alive but not alive, moving in a fog of unawareness.
We feel like the train wreck that just happened. The front future cars derailed, because our suffering has crashed our conditioned mindset program. Hope has failed to deliver its promise of happiness. Now only negative, hopeless, depressive thoughts go round in our head. The rear baggage cars crashed into the present moment car that wrecked any consciousness we had of now. Emotional baggage we hate feeling is strewed everywhere.
We attempt to view the wreckage, but we are too beat up. We cannot make out any sense of what happened. Time is passing and nothing has helped. We believe a diagnosis we were given, but believing it has not helped, because the medication only worked for a awhile and we hated the side effects. We tried breathing and exercise, but that was very hard to do. We sometimes think about ending it all.
Fast forward. Help has arrived to clear the train tracks. Feeling desperate, realizing we have nothing to lose, we opened our mind to consider alternative holistic healings we heard about. We are going to trust that meditation is healing. There seems to be very much to learn. We are aware the present moment of now is the only reality. We are clearing out our old repressed emotional baggage. We can again feel our body and take deep breaths. Feelings of joy and heart love are returning. Healing is finally happening! Yay!!!
I teach awakening. I awoke from a deep depression on the verge of suicide, 43 years ago, when I was 30. I know that depression can be a transition period; a time of transformation from a programmed conditioned life to an evolved, awakened consciousness.
Healing depression requires becoming open to awakening. Awakening is the process of witnessing inside us, realizing we have been hypnotized to believe myriads of lies. The work of transformation can be confusing and sometimes disorienting at first, but after suffering the deadness of depression, discomforts of a rebirth are welcomed. Specially designed meditations do healing wonders; medications inhibit change.
I teach awakening. Awakening is becoming aware of who you really are, by letting go of who you are not; it is about bringing to light, presence, joy, love, and creativity. Awakening usually begins with a crisis, when our conditioned program crashes. Otherwise we rarely change. Crisis is an opportunity to open our mind, because it is as shocking as realizing any truth. Visit my web site at 2b-One.com
