Diary of a Dog-Sitter

Synchronised Whoopsies

Simon Whaley - Author | Writer | Photographer
Petness
Published in
7 min readJun 17, 2024

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Out for a stroll © Simon Whaley

It is a truth universally acknowledged that dog-sitting two dogs is exponentially more than twice the work of dog-sitting one.

Take synchronised bowel movements, for example. During my current dog-sitting duties, both Betsy and Phoebe, have acquired the knack of emptying their bowels at the same time, particularly when on their five-metre extendable leads, at full stretch, in opposite directions.

So, picture the scene, but not in too much detail, obviously. There I am, in the middle of a field of long grass, with one dog lead in my right hand and the dog five metres away in full ablution mode, and the other lead in my left hand, fully extended in the opposite direction, with a defecating dog at the other end. To anyone who can’t see the dogs in the grass, I look like some muppet in the middle of a crucifixion pose.

In some ways, that is what the dogs are doing to me. Internally, I am crucifying myself, because clearing up behind them is a nightmare in this situation.

The Crucifix pose when dog walking © Di Perry

I am beholden to them, until one decides it’s time to move, and their extendable lead slackens. Then I can encourage that dog in the…

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Simon Whaley - Author | Writer | Photographer
Petness

Bestselling author, writer and photographer. UK travel writer. Lives in the glorious Welsh Borders. Contact: https://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/contact-me/