Sorry, I Cannot Date You if You Insist on Misgendering my Tortoise
Ten years ago, I purchased a Russian Tortoise from Petco. I had no idea what the turtle’s gender was, so I named it Murphy, which, having grown up watching Murphy Brown, I thought was a sufficiently androgynous name.
As it turned out, Murphy is a female. Her shell is flat on the bottom (males have a concave shell so they can mount a female more easily).
Turtles don’t look feminine, no matter what they do. And Murphy doesn’t do much. She hates soaking, so her skin often looks rough. She is not a girly-looking little person. And that’s fine. I’m not going to put a pink sweater on her. She wouldn’t like it.
When people first meet Murphy, they often call her “he.” And then I respond, putting stress on the word “she.” Most of my friends are smart enough to catch the correction.
And then I met a fella on a dating app. We haven’t met in person, and we likely won’t. And it isn’t really because he keeps calling Murphy “he,” but I am unusually annoyed by this persistent error. Deeply and truly annoyed. Maybe he can’t “hear” my correction because it’s written down? But shouldn’t that make it easier to pick up on?
Does he think he’s right and I’m wrong?
Is he a careless reader?
Is he the sort of person who rejects all correction, embracing error even in the face of evidence?
So you can see why this bothers me, right? It’s clearly indicative of some deeper character flaw, something I could never live with. Or perhaps I’m overanalyzing it — and perhaps that’s why I’m single.
Either way, Murphy doesn’t like this fella now that he keeps misgendering her, and Murphy’s opinion counts.
