Petty Report Card
Published in

Petty Report Card

My New Coworker Is A Wannabe-Woke Beta (and it’s annoyingly irritating having to interact w/ his textbook ‘short-guy’ syndrome) — or — On Winners & Losers

My whole plan (rn) was to write about my new coworker because he annoys the fucking fuck outta me, not by doing anything overwhelmingly egregious but rather, through the million tiny things he does that irritates the shit out of me, even when I’m not jobbing! Ugh. Boo. But then, the sun rose, and a beautiful day revealed itself to be, perhaps, exactly the cure to my woes as I no longer feel the desire to shit all over a coworker who is both irrelevant in and ignorant about my larger life, as a whole, so it feels like a wasted effort, especially since he barters in that all-too-familiar short-guy type wherein he has a lot to prove, and his strategy for proving himself has been to simply not ask relevant questions about the job and instead, opting for that good ol’ confidence and guessing his way through the job — in short — he makes a lot of mistakes. Oh, but here I go. I do actually have some relevant things to say about this particular coworker because he is so prevalent a type. Ugh.

[Disclaimer — yes, I know I bitch about my coworkers quite frequently, and it seems as though I am punching down or using them in order to mock or degrade. This is not the case. I am simply observing the behaviors of the people around me, and currently, the environment in which there are others around me, these days, happens to be the place wherein I am currently jobbing. I did not job a job during the 2020 calendar year, due to Covid, duh, and once we realized that this pandemic wasn’t going away tomorrow, I got a small, insignificant job at a nearby grocery store, just to get out of the house a day or two a week. But this job has actually become such great fodder for my writing life, and so, it is as a writer that I write these things, not as a hostile coworker who hates her coworkers. I do not hate my coworkers. I see them, and I feel for them, and I am actively working (on my life’s actual work) to create a better jobbing environment for everyone. Yes, it sucks to go to a job. It sucks to have to rely on a soulless corporation to provide for your needs. It sucks that everyone isn’t educated in a way to make money for themselves, but for now, this is the reality of the world in which we live, and so, I work hard (in my life outside this fucking job) to create tools and ideas to build a more economically equal existence. But this ought not discourage the troll from sharing its “thoughts” on this whole endeavor.]

First of all, as aforementioned, he’s about my height. I am not tall. I do not mean to bring this up to degrade men of a certain height. I simply bring it up to then highlight the way that his height has shaped his personality. I’ve come across far too many of these types of guys because (as my bodybuddy/lifemate explained to me) these guys were treated a very specific way by guys who were/are not “the short guy.” This environment shapes and cultivates the personalities of guys of a certain height (and shorter). In essence, they have little to nothing to lose, and so, I have been hit on by this type of guy more than any other type of guy, so I am very familiar with this type of personality. I am aware of the Napoleon Complex, but it’s not only that. It’s also tinged (within my millennial generation’s iteration of this “type”) with a condescension these days. An irritating condescension when considering the fact that this guy still cannot accomplish what I am able to accomplish on the job.

Not only is he (my coworker) mediocre (in every way, unfortunately), he is also trying to beta-up to the department manager (under whom our department falls) who is an incompetent beta (at best) and a wannabe alpha suffering too mightily from Dunning-Krueger to see that the attempt is futile (in reality). The department manager, may I remind, is also a misogynist who referred to me as “my favorite” after my first week on the job, and then who, later, when needing to make scheduling changes asked if I could work a Monday, to which I responded, “No,” to which he responded, “Well, will you do it for me?” After I told HR about these two instances of sexual harassment, he basically started to ignore me and pretend as if I didn’t exist, except for the instances when he simply cannot help himself but figuratively piss all over the kitchen wherein I job when he refuses to clean up after himself leaving me a dirty-ass sink at five in the morning. Thanks, fucker! But it’s fine. I honestly totally understand why he hates me. He’s a fugly-ass loser (whose breath fucking stinks; yea, I can smell it despite the fact that we’re supposed to be masked, he regularly wears his down below his chin because, yea, his fucking breath fucking stinks; I bet he hates the smell of it, too; oh, and he’s unvaxxed) going nowhere, and I serve as a reminder to him (three days a week) that he’ll never get what he feels entitled to want.

So, when I arrived at my job the last time I jobbed to find that my new coworker had left me “cut up fruit in tubs” only to discover that there were (maybe) a dozen pieces of fruit in each container (not enough to do anything with, meaning I now had to do all of my coworker’s dishes), I realized that this new coworker was most likely believing the shit that our manager spews about me, and this is what is truly making me furious, but I also don’t really give a shit, cause as aforementioned, they’re both weak beta losers. Gross. It’s such a waste of my time to waste energy thinking about them.

And then, the beautiful weather today made me not really want to write about it, and yet, here we are with me having written about it. But actually, there is one small example I would like to share about my coworker that makes me feel like his attitude is actually quite toxic, and I recently rid myself of the toxic supervisor I had before this new potentially toxic coworker, so I would really like to maintain a toxic-free environment. Oh, and the worst part is that I only work part-time (two-three days a week), but for some reason my coworker takes the time to slight me by saying things that he thinks will make me feel poor. Hmmm … to the example …

Basically, my job is inside a large grocery store chain, and at night, the night crew stocks shelves. Neither I nor my coworker work before five in the morning, so the night crew routinely uses “our” trash trolley for their boxes-presumably, to make their lives easier, meaning, they stock up as many trolleys as are available and bring them out onto the floor so that they do not have to go back and forth from the front and back (something I readily attempt to avoid as the store is large and the step count adds up quickly). I told my coworker this as I observed him stack all of our wet floor mats onto the trolley “so that they can dry.” I told him that the night crew uses “our” trash trolley, and he said, “Yea, they keep stealing it.” “No,” I said, “They use it because it’s not ours; it’s the store’s.” Then, and this is the part when I realized that I was jobbing with a fucking cunt (yet again), he says, “Well, this will just make it harder for them to use, and maybe they’ll stop using it.” I told the Big Manager (there are about six levels of management in this particular corporate structure, some of which are doubly loaded, as in there will be two “leads” in a department, whose seniority is then determined by who has been employed the longest, a really efficient and effective organizational structure [not.]) about this little interaction, and the Big Manager then asked me what I do with the mats, to which I responded, “I put them back on the floor.” “And the trash cart?” the Big Manager inquires. “I leave one small box on there that has the last few paper towels and gloves I use after I’ve taken out the trash but still have to spray down the tables.” “And they’re not bringing the cart back?” the Big Manager follows up. “No, not anymore. They used to, but can you blame them for not bringing it back now?”

I then explained how I understand that this is not something that’s a big deal, but it simply reveals an attitude that’s toxic because we all work here for the company, so why would you instigate frustration and disrespect? The Big Manager doesn’t really care about these things so much as he simply wishes that I will not become a problem-for him-to deal with. And it’s fine. It’s fine that most people in their shitty jobs take out their frustrations on their fellow coworkers. It’s fine that my new coworker is being poisoned by a manager who disrespects me as often as he can. It’s fine that everyone at my job is so totally miserable because they’re at their wits end and bouncing around $0 at the end of every week, every month, every year.

It’s fine because when you’re a winner, you need to be aware that there are a lot more losers. You are outnumbered. Every winner is outnumbered by losers, and so, it’s imperative that the losers are coddled and consoled. For winners, there’s no need to punch down. For winners, there’s no need to set the record straight. For winners, there’s no need to condescend in order to prove some insignificant part of yourself or the one aspect of yourself that’s cool. For winners, you become a loser when you take the bait that losers cast out in an attempt to lure the winners into the losers pool. Being a winner requires far more than simply being the best. Being a winner means that you understand that the world (made up of 90% losers) is rooting against you. Being a winner means that you understand that the words and thoughts of losers are just that-words and thoughts. It’s all they have. Losers only have their opinions, are left with only their thoughts, no knowledge. Losers don’t know anything, and so, to fight or make something of a loser is to rid yourself of your knowledge and education. Fighting with a loser is to forget everything that you know and have learned. Losers know nothing. Why bring this to their attention? It’s only going to make them even more angry at the winners-you (if you’re a winner). To quench the anger of an angry loser, the winner must douse the flames with consolation and healthy ego-stroking. They say you catch more bees with honey than vinegar, but I say, you catch more losers with a mirror and compliments than a book and knowledge.

Originally published at on November 3, 2021.




it’s called “petty” report card … don’t be surprised when I write about petty shit … duh.

Recommended from Medium

Tips|How Can International Professionals Create a Breakthrough During a Difficult Time

A Career In Dog Grooming

Karena Dawn and Katrina Scott of Tone It Up: “Why an accountability partner is critical to…

Be a wise woman leader with these 10 reflective thinking questions

Putting the customer at the center — refresher round!

Makespace and Open Source Creativity Diaries — Origins

Getting Onboarding Right!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sun 김선 Sailor

Sun 김선 Sailor

founder/owner & 선장 at + — writings are broadcast from

More from Medium

The Modern Disability Rights Movement and its Progress Leading Up to the Americans with…

The Biggest CEO Fly Ty

Newsletter: Meetings with Cake Book Update

Skater Girl — A Netflix documentary review