Bottling Lightning

I think I could handle lightning with the right kind of gloves. Most of us could handle it with the right kind of gloves. We might need a special apron: something made out of rubber, something that stretches.

Once you’ve caught it, it’s not all that different than handling hot biscuits or fresh German pancakes — use both hands, keep your gloves dry, put it someplace where it won’t burn the counter.

But what then?

That’s probably the main reason we’ve stopped bottling lightning, despite the obvious benefits. We just don’t know what to do with it once we bring it home. Kinda like acorn squash or artichokes.

I got you. What do I do with you?

Besides, a little lightning goes a long way. You’ll have that stuff sitting in your pantry for years. Taking up space. Melting your marshmallows.


Originally published at pfunk.co on March 25, 2015.

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