Impostor syndrome?
So…I have been a good student my whole life.
My mom is a teacher so when I was a child I always made her proud with good grades.
I passed the entrance examination of the federal university of my state in Brazil (which was a big thing). I got my Master with a scholarship and now I am on my PhD also with a scholarship…pretty bad ass, right?
It would be…if I didn´t have this feeling that i don´t belong here. At all.
It´s like if everybody around me is really intelligent and I think I´m as intelligent as a snail around here. Maybe the snail would win.
I could blame this on several factors, but to be honest I know that I am the only one to blame. My anxiety, my early panic attacks, my huge creative mind that always create the worst case scenario as the most possible one.
Maybe that little guy in the picture (the snail, obviously:)) is more intelligent than me because he doesn´t practice the self sabotage that I am an expert on for years.
I know, I feel like I don´t belong here, I feel stupid most days, I feel like I could just run away and open my own pub (a huge dream btw) but I know that I own myself to feel that I deserve to be here because I won battles to be here.
Impostor syndrome, snail syndrome… I will have to deal with it.
