Ph.D.: the final chapter of the saga
so how is the Ph.D. going in the end?
It´s been a long time since I don´t update here about my Ph.D.
After my last post, I submitted my Ph.D. thesis, got it back from the censors with 3 months of corrections, submitted again and defended.
hmmm sounds easy, right?
Well…not.
The whole submission process was hard and full of ups and downs like the Ph.D. itself. In the end, I was so mentally exhausted that I was just praying to finalize it alive.
and then I submitted.
and then I waited.
The waiting time is a mix of feelings time. I was happy it was over and I was scared that it would come back with corrections and guess what?
It came back with corrections.
When I got the email from my supervisor saying that my thesis came back with 3 months of correction …I got sad, then I felt guilty, then I cried for some days.
but then I realized that there was nothing I could do …just sit my ass in front of the thesis and do the corrections.
It sounds easy, right?
nope.
It was a painful process.
Just opening the thesis file would make me cry, just to think about the correction gave me panic attacks…it was so mentally hard for me.
After I submitted again my thesis with the corrections the fear came back: what if they ask for more corrections? what if I´m stuck in a snowball effect of endless corrections? what if I´m not good enough?
In the end, my thesis was accepted for defense and it was a happy time.
Then, it came the fear of the defense, which I believe it´s normal for most people.
I prepare my slides and practice once only before the actual defense.
I have this thing that when I get anxious I speak very fast and like Yoda. Of course, this happened in my defense day but it was all ok.
I made jokes, I presented the parts that I liked the most of my Ph.D. journey, I explained the difficulties I had, I tried to be honest.
The censors´questions were better than I expected, they were friendly and made me comfortable. All the comments were feedbacks aiming to improve my work, none of them were trying to knock me down.
Now, the thesis was sent to print and I believe this chapter is finally over.
