this town is teetering with your ghost
can you give me just, like, a friendly “hello”?
a few texts back to me, out to me
without entangling emotions
entrenching, upsetting, you stay: unsaid.
we’re both in the same place,
(the way i see it):
we could actually help each other
without being one’s romantic lover
anymore
but. maybe that’s crazy — maybe even impossible —
for you, darling, in your eyes…
o… — those eyes — …
what’s wrong with we? —
— for wishing we would work.
what was wrong with us?—
— was that our similarities shot to outshine one another’s,
+ our differences deadlocked + disagreed.
— i understand i hurt you —
— + i understand you still hurt —
so — i understand why you still want to hurt me.
we used to hit all the breakfast spots,
+ then pick a favorite one,
+ we’d become a kind of family
i’m a-lone, man.
i’m cool, though. + kickin’ it.
i can taste your memory with my heart’s breaking, broken beat.
with you + your long love gone — for a forever time…
(+ with this warring with this mother of mine…):
the only place i can find
feminine attention,
+ feminine affection,
+ feminine disapproving aggression is in my
fashion, creativity, + shy spaces.
it’s a-lone, venture. like i said: i’m a-lone, man.
it’s cool — though — i’m killing
it.
i gave you an emergency call
why won’t you pick up?
will you see if i’m okay?
would you make sure i’m still breathing, beating…
without you. for you. with you —
i used to be in pain. then i became pain —
bitter bones, a hating heart, a malicious + malefic mind —
thoughts of the dark. haunted apart.
now, i’ve aged —
…now i don’t know about you…
…you seem, stuck. stung. sucked, into violence + vortex.
i don’t think i broke your heart.
i think it was already cracked quite severely.
i just distracted it, you know?
straight-up: our relationship was grown, girl.
so, why would i not grow? in it. out to it. out of it.
why wouldn’t growth be a focal point, a total point?
you were the best.
friend.
you were my best.
lover.
you were the cutest.
companion.
you were the most suited
— abandon, me. abandon, you.
we abandoned the path, the cinnamon candled track.
it’s fine, i guess.
i’m finding mine. i think you’re looking for yours,
too.
your laugh was angelic + transcendent.
i actually admired it. gorgeous, goodness, goodness…
where is it?
where are you?
who you laughing @?
with?
+ along to?
…god.
do you have similar thoughts:
when a tangent is overtaken by fear + absence?
i always had a thing for freckles,
[+ your skin was littered with ‘em + i loved it].
i miss them. i’d kiss them. + lick
my own wounds on my own ashen skin…
this is hard, i guess. can we agree on that?
nowadays, when we talk, we never do.
we used to have summers of sand
summers in a land of just us two. it was simply fine = divine.
i’m passing our place.
no one’s ever there.
for you it’s full of regrets.
i’m passing away.
i’d do whatever you say.
for one day.
for one glance.
for one night.
beside you.
beside me.
bedside.
anyway…
