Screw you, old habits! Always Be Changing

K for the Kangol’s which I’ve got

Which I wear everyday, and why, why not?

— Slick Rick, on Eric Sermon’s ‘Why Not’

As I near my 40th birthday I’ve been thinking a lot about the habits, both good and bad, that have dominated my life. I’ve felt like I’ve changed and grown a lot over past 5 years, and as I feel the urge to keep on changing. The idea that you’re stuck with what you’ve got isn’t something that annoys me, and I feel like you can change a fuck-ton (to use the technical term) even when you’re an old geezer like me.

The line between habit and personality is often blurred, but even for those items that are ingrained to the core, there is he ability to moderate and control those items. And not all habits have to be changed- some are good, healthy, stylish, etc. But others suck and need to be unsuckified, or at least less-suckified.

Some of my habits that I like and intend to keep:

• Hustling hard, every day. I am the type of person who can’t sit still for very long, and my mind is scheming on some jawn or another at all times whether I want it to or not, so why not focus it on making shit happen?
• Wearing flat caps. Because, why not?
• Not eating pigs, cows, or fish that lack scales or gils (shellfish, catfish, squid, etc). This is something I started doing in my mid twenties after getting really into Stoicism and realizing that beef and pork made me feel like donkey dung when I ate it.
• Walking everywhere I possibly can in almost any weather.
• Speaking my mind, hold no punches, and suffer no fools. I would say this is more like a personality trait, but while this may annoy some/lots of people, I really don’t give a rats ass.

Some of my habits that annoy the fuck out of me and which actively want to change:

• Procrastinating, which I do far too often. I use my “tendency” towards distraction as a means to avoid things that annoy me. I’m fact I’m fucking procrastinating getting my sorry ass to work by writing this on my phone in my bathrobe.
• Not writing enough or as often as I should. I’ve always felt that I’m a good writer, but writing is an often frustrating experience for me, & I often will avoid it or put it off indefinitely.
• Not exercising enough. While I average about 5 miles of walking per day, I feel like I should spend a good deal more time being physically active as I get older.
• Letting anger guide my actions. This is something I plan on writing about more in the near future, and anger is firmly in the “moderate” column. Righteous crusades “feel” good, and anger is a fuel that shouldn’t, and really can’t, be discarded. But letting anger completely guide my actions rarely leads towards the outcomes I’m seeking.
• Cursing so fucking much. I really do have potty mouth way too often, and with a couple little kids, that shit gets me into trouble when I don’t mean to. How the fuck can I change this shit though? I’ve got no ideas, not even shitty ones.

So how do I moderate or change the habits? New habits! This morning I jogged for the first time in 15 years, and I plan to keep jogging. Today I’m writings blog post for the second time and I plan on writing another one this week too. Will these stick and become habits? Who knows, but I did it today and will do it tomorrow. If I do it for a month then I’m guessing that it’s likely I’ll do it for a year, but again, we shall see.

Who knows, maybe someday I’ll even figure out how to not be so loud!