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Complete essays from Philosophistry: The Love of Rhetoric

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How Romantic Love Won the West

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famous John William Waterhouse painting
The Lady of Shalott

The unsung hero of the West’s ascendancy is romantic love. The practice comes from the very top, with many instances of kings and queens risking everything for the sake of true love. Henry VIII, for example, broke with the Catholic Church so that he could marry Anne Boleyn, a noblewoman who wouldn’t settle for the title of “mistress.” Or consider Edward VIII, the uncle of the late Queen Elizabeth II, who abdicated the throne so that he could be with his twice-divorced paramour, Wallis Simpson. And of course, there’s the current King, Charles III, who wouldn’t let go of his best friend Camilla Shand, leading to his divorce from Princess Diana, thus throwing the Crown into disarray.

Succession troubles seem baffling at first: why would any dynasty risk the throne for love? But why wouldn’t they? If you’re a king or queen, you probably think you’re entitled, more than anybody else, to be with exactly who you want, when you want. This high-stakes attitude toward romantic love then trickles down to the rest of society through the fairy tales we tell our children. It explains why Americans beat themselves up in the pursuit of “happily ever after.” Because the upside is very real.

A couple bonded by romantic love has a higher, more synergistic, investment in their children. My parents, for example, who emigrated to the U.S. in the 1950s, couldn’t stop talking to each other, and thus exposed me to five times more adult words at the dinner table. Likewise, finding that special someone may eventually create the kind of high-stimulation environment that ushers in the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.

This willingness to risk it all for love is the method in the madness of America. Americans have such a high divorce rate because they’re playing for such high stakes. And high stakes are the reason people come here in the first place.

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Philosophistry
Philosophistry

Published in Philosophistry

Complete essays from Philosophistry: The Love of Rhetoric

Philip Dhingra
Philip Dhingra

Written by Philip Dhingra

Author of Dear Hannah, a cautionary tale about self-improvement. Learn more: philipkd.com

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