Dad Daily

I wouldn’t change this insanity for the world. I’m a father of three amazing kids, but everyday is a challenge.

Two girls who know they have me wrapped around their little fingers and a boy who is as smart as a whip.

5:30am and I’m up, only after I hit the snooze button on my alarm for the fourth time. I slowly creep out of bed, because I know that even the slightest sound will wake these insane creatures I call my babies.

Slowly get dressed, OK jeans on, now shirt, then to socks. Brush my teeth and as I am doing this a faint gust of air passes by me. I get the chills and I look behind me.

There she is, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes she sees me. I think to myself how did I not hear this one get up. All day long she is the loudest one of the bunch. At two years old she already knows how to get to me.

With a sweet little smile and her arms in the air, I couldn’t resist but to pick her up. She watches as I clean up the sink, but I’m supposed to do this one handed of course.

I have to set her down I need to get my shoes and throw on a hat, she doesn’t like that idea and holds on for dear life. I’ll just let go I think to myself, but I know if the wife catches me I’m in more trouble.

OK shoes are on and tied, I’m getting good at this. Grab my hat and I am ready to head out the door. What am I to do with this little cling-on monster that has attached itself to me?

I know, wake up my wife, she will love that I have our two year old for her to handle. Nope can’t do that. Let me sing her a little song while I grab her teddy bear and lay her back down to sleep.

She’s almost out, her eyes are slowly closing. I look at my watch and realize I should have left the house 15 minutes ago. Now I’m running late, sneak out slowly.

Floor creeks and she’s up again, Damnit!

Only this time the other two monsters hear my struggles. The door makes a loud creek as the two peek into the room. Daddy, they shout, like I have been gone all day or something.

Well it’s nearly seven in the morning and I am late to work. Wake up the wife and I am off. Speeding out of the development like a race car driver.

Make it to work and put in my time, I am not a fan of my job, but the people and the pay are worth going in for. At least that is what I tell myself. One day I will find a better way.

Off at four, and on my way home. I now have to get mentally ready for my three monsters to jump me. Are they going to wait until I open the door and just fly out from no where, or are they going to let me get into the house, kick off my shoes, kiss the wife and go to change into something more comfortable?

Nope they couldn’t wait until I got in the door. My six year old full of energy and absolute chaos fly’s off the stairs into my arms, I swear she is choking me!

I feel as if I have stepped into quick sand, I’m wrong, my two year old has wrapped herself around both my legs. I’m trapped, they want to kill me. I’m turning purple from lack of oxygen she is to strong. I’m going to fall, they planned this take down of dad.

In slow motion I fall to the floor and my boy jumps off the couch like he is in the WWF. Elbow out, chin up, he soars. I get an arm free and catch him as he slams into me, didn’t help any.

I have to get free. How do I get these things off of me. They have turned, I’m in a scene from the Walking Dead, with no ammo I yell for their mother. Just like that I am free.

Where did they go? It’s silent and everything is still. I look around and see eyes peaking down the stairs at me. Little giggles echo the hallway, I run and grab my wife. I yell Base, in the hopes that I am safe.

Even my wife laughs. That won’t stop them she says. I have her hold my hand as we go up the stairs, slow I tell her, they will hear you.

She is fearless, this amazing woman I call my wife. Five foot nothing from a Jewish family and full of fire! I have a tattoo of her on my arm, when I show it to people they see a dragon. Yes it’s a dragon.

She covers for me as I change into some sweat pants, but the laughter still echos through the halls. She goes and checks on them.

Why do they look like saints for her. I peak over her shoulder and they are playing nicely with one another. Monopoly, really? As she turns to walk away I see their eyes go into evil mode and it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Run! I yell they are after us. I look back and I swear my girls are crawling across the ceiling. Where did he get that Nerf gun? Standing at the end of the hallway ready to fire his mass Nerf destruction.

I make it back down the stairs, and with quick thinking I grab the remote. Just as they jump down the stairs and turn the corner, I have found their weakness. Cartooooons!

My girls cuddle up next to me and our boy puts the nerf gun down. With hugs and kisses we settle in. Eyes start to close and they look so sweet. I can’t wait for tomorrow.