How I see mum as I approach ‘mum age'

Mum age: The age whereby my mum became a mother, she was 28.

I believe that life is like a round trip ticket. No matter how high you soar in life, one day, you will make the trip back to the core of what makes you, ‘you’; and that’s your family.

I used to be a baby with the purest heart, but as I grew up I created problems again and again.

And then, as I approach ‘mum age’, I became friends with my parents again.

She loves me even when I turn my back against her

For as long as I could remember, I told myself that I will take care of myself and I didn’t need my parents’ attention. I don’t know why, but I guessed there must be a moment during childhood when I was neglected and hurt.

I remembered one moment clearly during teenage years. With tears welling in her eyes, mum asked me what had she done wrong that I distanced myself from the family. I was startled – never have I thought that mum would internalise my ego as her fault.

Throughout the rebellious years, no matter what I did or how aggressive I got, mum was always there, and always caring. I knew that she will always have my back.

However, at that age I simply didn’t have wisdom to see through ego. I guess this is part of growing up.

Everyone knows how hard parenthood is, she dived into it regardless

Looking at myself and my two younger brothers, I think parenthood is an insane job.

My siblings and I were three distinct characters with our own problems. Coming from where they were, my parents did their very best to protect us and lead us onto the path they thought was best for us.

As we grew up and looked back, we were able to pinpoint moments that defined who we are today.

Although there were things that we hoped could have been done differently, it is our own responsibility to steer through life journey with our own wisdom, carrying their blessing.

Still, having 3 kids under her wings is bold! Love and courage brought us to this world as a family.

She knows when to let go

As we grew up, as we explored other parts of the world, as we learnt to stand on our own feet; we thought we know better.

‘You are wrong’, ‘I know what I’m doing’, ‘I can make my own decision’.

Does that sound familiar? That happened in my family, coming from me.

American kids leave home at 17, and I lived without my parents’ ‘interference’ throughout 3 years of uni life on a foreign land. That made me so proud of living life in my own terms, and I was used to doing things ‘my way’.

The cool thing is mum listened, and she tried to understand. As I grew older, I expanded my capacity to set aside ego and began to communicate with mum openly.

Even though I still chose my own path in things like career, backpacking, and solo travelling; everything seemed to be more complete with my parents’ blessing.

Seeking to understand and willing to let go are tough, and I am proud of mum for that.

She taught me about integrity

Mum might not see a world as big as I did, but she has seen more in her life.

We see many ways of doing things in life and in business; sometimes we learn about tricks that are not pretty.

I remembered going through a hard time last year having conflicts with business partners, which made me questioned the line between friendship and business relationship.

Mum told me it was okay to invest emotionally in all relationships in life. Somehow, at that point of time, it was all I needed to move on.

From then on, I decided that I will trust and love people by default. I will trust until trust is shattered, and love until heart is broken. It is a choice that I make.

We don’t have to win everything in life.

She creates the safest place in the world

I love going home, because it feels like going back in time.

Whatever I do, or whoever I become; I will always be mum’s girl at home. Home means safety, worry-free, great food, and lots of love.

As I stepped into adulthood and took on responsibilities such as rent, clients and payroll; I have peace in mind knowing that home is always there.

Having gone through 26 years of life, I see that being a mother is a hell of tough job that is way underrated. I love that we are all imperfectly perfect for each other as a family. It never ceases to amaze me just how lucky we are.