My Life as a Protagonist
Part I
A Love of Stories
“People create stories create people; or rather stories create people create stories.” — Chinua Achebe
My life began under mountains of blankets. I burrowed in the night with my flickering booklight and a fantasy novel. I didn’t mind the comforters that were slowly roasting me alive or the desire for sleep that sometimes battled for my attention or the booklight that was badly in need of a battery change. I wasn’t really there so none of that could bother me. I had more to worry about from an evil dragon or a wicked witch or a mysterious dark force.
By third grade I had mastered the art of walking and reading. (I’ll admit that before I successfully mastered the skill I walked into walls and tripped over nothing more than a few times.) Wherever I went there was a book by my side. My backpack housed more novels than notebooks — a habit I haven’t quite shaken, even now. When life was boring I had an immediate escape into a world of fantasy and adventure. The “real world” just couldn’t compete.
My childhood wasn’t spent on this earth.
I lived in stories.
When I wasn’t entrenched in a book, I was lost in a film. I’ve seen every single Disney movie, in order, multiple times over. They lined my bookshelf — Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Dumbo, Bambi… I saw them all. These movies, characterized by magic, adventure, and imagination, reinforced and reflected my love for the fantastical.
My favorite Disney princess was Mulan. Unlike the other female leads, her story was about the choices she made to save her family and her country. Romance, while it was a part of her story, was not the centerpiece. She learned to keep up with the men and use her wit to achieve her goals — whether it be obtaining an arrow from the top of a pole or defeating an invading army. Mulan stood out because it was a movie about free will, not fate. She wasn’t in need of rescuing: she was rescuing an entire nation.
As I grew older, the complexity and depths of the stories I loved became more advanced, but the theme never changed. I’m drawn to the hero that uses the strength of his own character and intellect to conquer great odds and succeed in his quest. I am enchanted by the extraordinary, the exceptional, the remarkable. I seek the rags-to-riches story. I require the timeless tale.
Living a life outside of the “real world” set me apart and left me forever changed. I was never quite able to separate fantasy from reality. When I was five, I was asked where I would live when I’m grown up. I said that I would live in a castle, as if it was the most simple and obvious answer I could give. If you were to ask me the same question today, I would give the same answer. Now, my idea of a castle has become much more abstract (a penthouse in Manhattan is my ideal castle presently) but the underlying idea of it hasn’t changed. I want my life to reach maximum potential in every way, and that means living in a place that reflects my goals and ambitions. My life is about bringing my wildest dreams into fruition.
My childhood love of stories set the foundation for the philosophy of my life: I’ve decided to be both the author and the heroine of my own story.
Part II
My Aspiration: An Epic Story
These two pictures, “Work by Day” [Left] and “Work by Night” [Right] showcase my commitment to the work that I do. Part II is about how I see the love of one’s work as a requirement for greatness, which is a requirement for an epic life story. “Work by Day” is about the visible work that I do — presentations and leading meetings, mostly. “Work by Night” is the other side of the coin. In order for much of what I do to become a reality, I work in solitude late into the night. My work ethic is part of what makes me a character.
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” — Benjamin Franklin
When I describe someone as a being a “character,” I am giving them the ultimate compliment. When I say, “He’s a character,” I don’t mean it in the common sense. I’m not saying that he’s odd, abnormal, funny, quirky, or different — though he might be all of those things. When I call someone a character I am saying that he or she is someone who is actively alive and engaged in crafting their own life story. Characters aren’t idly living a passive existence. No! Who would want to read that story? I know I wouldn’t.
One must consciously choose to become a protagonist. It requires meticulously deciding if what you are doing right now deserves a part in the greater narrative of your life. I ask myself if surfing the internet or doing something equally mindless is really worth my finite time on Earth. If the answer is no, I reevaluate the options I have available to me. I might not be in control of an unfeeling and uncaring universe, but I get to decide how I react to the cards I’m dealt.
In order to live an epic story, I must become a great character.
But what exactly is greatness and how do does one attain it? Previously, I’ve described greatness as excellence in one’s work derived from loving one’s work so much that there is nothing one would rather be doing. Further, I linked greatness to a commitment to reason and awareness of one’s own actions. To be great we must ask ourselves:
Do I love what I am doing?
Is what I am doing the best use of my time?
Are my choices rational — are they increasing my happiness by being in line with my goals or are they hindering my progress?
It is through a commitment to greatness that epic stories are born. If I want to be a protagonist instead of a background character to someone else’s plot, I have to work for it. I have to become the characters that were the role models of my life. I need to take what’s best within them and apply it to myself.
I’ll study Sherlock Holmes genius and commitment to the truth; I’ll acquire Hermione Granger’s work ethic and belief in the people she values; I’ll learn Don Draper’s creativity and uncompromising attitude on what he knows to be good work; I’ll aspire to Howard Roark’s worship of reason and life on Earth. I’ll become a character of the same caliber as the ones I love — it’s my deliberately chosen purpose.
I want to become great by creating value. This value may come in the form of an exceptional product or service, a paradigm changing system, a piece of art or writing… It could potentially be anything. The act of creating is what matters to me. For it is through pouring myself into my creative work that I hope to build my legend.
Part III
Life is Finite
“If you know that this life is all that you have, wouldn’t you make the most of it?”
— Ayn Rand
One essential question remains regarding my outlook on life: why? Plenty of people are captivated by stories but not many decide that they want to become the hero of their own story. Most people accept humble goals and choose to follow a well worn path. I won’t be most people for a very simple reason.
I’m the type of person that takes a vacation very seriously. I’ll make sure to do and see everything that is offered to me. I want the bang for my buck. I see life in very much the same way. Before existence there is a terrible, vast, chasm of nonexistence where we have no evidence to support that we experience anything. I believe we return to the same state of nonexistence once we die. Therefore, life is an incredibly fleeting moment of experience between two eternities of nothingness. Don’t you want to pack the most into that flicker of existence as you can?
I have chosen a life that demands more effort and conscious thought than most because I believe that life is finite. I want to spend my moment on Earth adventuring. Everyday is the opportunity for a new experience and the next page of a novel that must eventually come to an end. Each page, each paragraph, each line, each word, each syllable, must have impact.
I haven’t a second to waste.
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