Only people who are in love will understand these when things go wrong
You are rationally irrational
There are so many listicles circulated on the web telling you 5 signs, 10 signs, and even 20 signs of being in love. Everyone has their own unique interpretation of love according to different contexts and life experiences. There are signs that you are happily in love, and there are also signs that some people are painfully in love. Here is my take on a struggling relationship that is also one of the best things that happened to me.
You defend him in every way even when the world stands against you
He is a workaholic and he has always been absent. He is not available when you need him for emotional support. You hardly have a plus one while attending parties. He has to put you in his schedule in order to see you. He made promises that he never fulfill.
Everyone tells you that you are not fairly treated and your relationship is not working out. You understand where those statements come from but you fight for him in every way you could. You come up with a million excuses to justify all the honest observations from your friends.
You are rationally irrational
You are not stupid but you do agree that love is blind. You are able to step back and look at the situation with an analytical mind. You know that you are not his priority in life and you are in denial for still having faith in him. You stubbornly stick to it nevertheless. You surrender everything to faith and time. You choose to go this unpredictable path because your guts tell you to. You are all in until you are out.
When you look back you only see good things
You think about him a lot. You think about the trip you went with him, the late night movies at his place, the crazy stuff he told you he was doing, the warmth of waking up next to him. Then you tell yourself whatever happens in the end, those memories are worth it. They were real and you lived those moments. Your relationship is like travelling — you hold your breath at the breathtaking scenery, and then you move on in your journey. That moment and feeling stick for a long long time and put a smile on your face whenever it comes back to you.
You say ‘go with the flow’ even when people tell you it takes compromise to work things out
It takes two conscious minds to align lifestyle and values. Even if he compromises to be physically present, he might still be mentally unavailable because there are just too many unfinished matters out there. Loving him is a way of loving yourself because it is the conscious choice you made. There are plenty of easy options out there but you chose the risky path without looking back.
You are so ready to get hurt
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You truly believe that love is blind for the fact that you still hold on even knowing he is slipping away from your life, that your analytic mind allows you to say that you love him even though the level of commitment is clearly unbalance, you gave up your ego to build those beautiful memories and you allow yourself to be vulnerable when things go wrong.
Things look bad but you know what? You are so ready to get hurt and move on to the next great journey when time comes.