Un Viejo Verde

Photograph — Alex Waterhouse-Hayward

A viejo verde is a dirty old man in Spanish. I believe I am such a person.

It all began in my Buenos Aires kindergarten. At the time I was going to the American Grammar School in Belgrano R. In my class I had the not as famous as the Canadian version, the Diligenti quintuplets. There were two boys and three girls. I had a liking for the reserved and more quiet María Fernanda. I liked to hike up her skirt. I did this often but I was never caught.

In my high school years in Austin, Texas in a Catholic boarding school, St. Edward’s, I was a prototype nerd. I did not know how to dance so I could not meet girls. And I was much too shy to talk to them. But as an alto saxophone player for the school band this meant I played at football games and basketball games. And we had cheerleaders. We all thought Buddy Lytton was a pansy, the only word we used in those days besides that deprecative “homo” because he had joined the cheerleading team. We, of course were absolute idiots. Buddy knew where to find girls! He had a 1955 red convertible Chevrolet parked (against school regulations) in a nearby secret garage.

One of the cheerleaders was five foot tall and she was called Judy. She was a firecracker of a girl. When she jumped up on the cheerleading forays I could spot her underwear and I was in heaven.

Somehow I managed to have two dates with her and I met her parents. I remember little else. Many years later I found her through the internet living in San Antonio where she had and has a cheerleading supply company.

In years hence I have made it my duty as a viejo verde to photograph as many women as I can find that will pose for me undraped. Now that I am 75 the legion of women that seemed to be eager to face my camera has dwindled.

My guess is that you are never a dirty old man until you are an old man!

Originally published at blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com.