George R. R. Martin Reveals Starbucks Is Now Part of Westeros
A Song of Ice and Coffee
Winter is coming, and so is your order of coffee.
“Sorry for the wait,” the Starbucks barista says as she hands me my coffee. “It’s hard when a girl has no name.”
I’m sitting at a Starbucks (of all places!) waiting for George R. R. Martin to arrive for our interview. He’s late, again, as is his custom when writing books. The show, Game of Thrones, based on his bestselling novels, is now well ahead of his story.
After the very public gaffe of leaving a Starbucks coffee in a scene from the latest episode, the show and coffee shop have decided to do some cross-promotion. It’s only fair since Starbucks essentially got free advertising without having to pay for the product placement.
I take a sip of my coffee and look back at the menu. I ordered a Flat Wight, but thinking I should’ve gone for something stronger. This is going to be a long wait. Maybe I should’ve taken The Black?
While I’m contemplating, Martin walks in and orders a Lord of Light Milk. He sits down and we begin our interview.
What are you working on right now?
I have an announcement to make… I’m releasing a book!!!
That’s exciting! Are we finally going to get the next chapter in your book series, the Winds of Winter?
No, uh… this is a new book. A coffee book actually.
A what?
I’m calling it a Song of Ice and Coffee.
Have you gone Mad King? What will it be about?
It will expand on the lore of Westeros by including how they brew their coffee. It’s 1,500 words so far, you know how much I love writing about food and beverages.
With all due respect, shouldn’t you be working on ending your book series?
I tend to write what I’m passionate about. Right now, it’s Braavos coffee.
Are you being paid by Starbucks?
No, of course not.
Your legion of fans will be very cranky.
They can have an Iced Dragon Coffee to make them feel better. Speaking of…
The interview is cut short when Martin’s coffee arrives. “Your coffee has arrived, milord,” the barista chimes. “As usual, on the house.”
Nervous laughter ensues.
Thanks for reading. For another made up interview…
