Hierarchy: A Brief History of Slime
The social, economic, and gender policies that made us who we are
On a July day, during the middle Paleolithic, 317, 000 years ago, (plus two months) hierarchy was born when Ug and Doug got into a dispute with Craw and Bah. Bah had been taken the leading role as tribal leader for months, but Ug, the old, cranky shaman, got it into his head that he alone should be in charge.
Doug supported Ug, and naturally, Craw, the wise woman and grandmother to forty-two babies, supported Bah.
Bah was slime. He had been making Craw do all the work, and taking all the credit for himself, but she still loved him. She remained devoted on promises of new fire pits, and a promotion — after the berry, and pelt season, was complete — of course.
Doug and Ug, were slime too. But not as objectionable in their bullying, as they advocated for a centrist platform on cave bear immigration, and more winkle-berry distribution for all.
Nevertheless, Bah managed to bribe Doug over to his side with bribes of soft deer pelts and fifteen-minute dates with his grand-daughters: Qua, La, She-Ra, and Farrah Fah.
Hierarchy arrived that day, with the advent of sendentism, because Bah was tired and demanded to sit at the firepit for three days straight.
