How to waste an entire day
The ultimate guide to a productivity-free life
Published in
1 min readMay 24, 2018
- Set yourself up the night before by diving deep into YouTube. Fall asleep to the sweet sound of ‘animals attack’ videos.
- Optional: forget to set your alarm.
- If you skipped step 2, snooze your alarm at least 3 times. Then accidentally turn it off completely.
- Once you wake up, panic when you see that you’re already 30 minutes late.
- Jump out of bed. Because your feet are tangled in your sheets, face-plant onto your bedroom floor.
- Crawl to the bathroom to survey the damage. Feel pretty good that you don’t look as bad as you should.
- Shower. Cut yourself shaving. Apply toilet paper liberally. Get dressed.
- Make coffee. Drink coffee while packing your bag for work. Spill coffee on your white shirt.
- Put on a new shirt.
- Decide to call your boss to tell her you’re going to be late.
- Spend 20 minutes searching for your phone.
- Find your phone under your pillow.
- Lay down for just another minute….
