The Muffin Script
‘“The Muffin Script”
excerpted from “STOOP STORIES” by Michael J. Gaito of the U.S.A.’ {WIP}
CURTAIN UP/LIGHTS UP:
Greenwich Village, New York City
We find a man (Gary — a John Krasinski-type) and a woman (Sarah — an Alison Brie-type) on the stoop of their building. Gary sits staring straight ahead, quietly smoking a cigarette. Sarah stands — she is waiting — playing with her phone. After a few more cigarette drags, Sarah’s phone rings. She looks to see who’s calling and answers.
SARAH: Hey muffin! How are you? … Aw. Mm-hmm. … That’s so hard. … I know exactly how you feel. … What?! Just because I’ve never been the only muffin left in the case I can’t understand? I can’t understand rejection? Loneliness? … Well how many of your friends actually wear a sheer, crimped paper sleeve on their bottoms? Do you even have any other friends? … muffin … muffin, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. … Don’t cry muffin. … Don’t cry. Let’s talk tomorrow. … You’ll get picked tomorrow. Okay? … Okay. … Yes. Are you okay? … Okay. Sleep tight.
Gary looks at Sarah without saying a word as Sarah ends the call.
SARAH (to Gary): That was my muffin.
Gary turns away from Sarah and looks up to the sky. He rises as the stage lights dim and a single spot focuses on him. He moves downstage. As ‘It Takes Two’ by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock begins to play, Gary starts breakdancing in the spotlight. Gary dances through the entirety of ‘It Takes Two’ by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock. Once the song is finished Gary lies on the floor, staring up blankly for approximately 10 minutes.
STAGE LIGHTS DOWN/CURTAIN DOWN
END OF ACT I
