We’re Bad, But We Ain’t No 9/11: A Message From The MTA

At the MTA, we’re not too vain or proud to admit when we’ve done wrong. Yes, several inches of rain caused entire subway stations to flood. Yes, passengers were drenched while trying to go to work. Yes, the system is in complete disrepair. But ya gotta admit, this ain’t no 9/11.

Remember that? Oof. So yeah, we’re sorry your commute took an extra 45 minutes but ya gotta admit there are so few hijackers on our trains.

Let’s look at the stats: Number of people killed on September 11th, 2001: 2,996. Number of people killed on our trains: Less.

I can say without a doubt that Osama Bin Laden had very little to do with the day-to-day operations of the New York City Subway System.

The last time I checked — and this could be out of date information — not a single war was started because of the subway system. So…that’s nice.

Let’s talk hard data: so few members of Al-Qaeda show up on your trains every day. That’s just a fact. You can talk about rainwater or track changes or buff rats all you want, but in terms of transit-based sleeper cells we’re doing A-OK.

So next time you’re waiting on a platform with sewer water up to your ankles and it turns out the train “has crashed,” just remember: this ain’t no 9/11. It’s the MTA.