Why You Should Never Date a Filmmaker
I spent my twenties working on movies. I grew accustomed to the long hours, high stress, strange call times and constant traveling. Most film shoots last 2–3 months. You spend days and nights with the same ragged faces, everyone teetering from hangovers and lack of sleep. Film crews develop an intense intimacy. This leads to affairs, infighting, jealousies and petty squabbles. When a film shoot ends, people go their separate ways often without saying goodbye.
Film production makes going back to “normal life” difficult. While society wakes with the sun, film workers are hampered by a crippled circadian rhythm. It takes weeks of sleep to recover from the trauma of making a movie. This leads to problematic relationships. For a film crew member, a typical romantic liaison lasts a few months, the same length of a film shoot.
“Working on movies teaches you to get real close to people you never see again,” a cameraman once told me. “The only people who understand this are other filmmakers.” I asked if this meant I should stick to dating filmmakers. He laughed and said, “Good luck with that.”
I put this to the test. I dated an actress, a costume designer, a production manager, a script supervisor. A pattern developed. I experienced immediate intimacy, a belief I’d found a soul mate, a passionate few weeks book ended around a road trip…
