Lonely Peet
Peet’s Coffee
Coffee Price $2.10
I think what’s hard about being single is the pressure to be happy with yourself all the time. There is a pressure to say that you’re a strong, independent woman that doesn’t need anybody else, that you’re content with yourself. That you aren’t lonely because you have plenty of family, friends, coworkers, and even acquaintances to sustain you. You also are welcome to engage in romantic interludes with anyone who you may choose, since you are unattached.
As someone who has had many years of experience with singledom, I can say that I have found that all of this is possible, but there are still times when it would be nice to just have a “rock” to return to, instead of floating in between a bunch of different people. It would be nice to have a little more security in knowing that someone loves me, and only me. That I don’t have to wonder what is happening with them, why haven’t they texted back, was this the last time that we’re going to hang out.
I’m sitting at Peet’s Coffee this rainy Friday morning, staring out at the rain-slicked asphalt and people hustling across the crosswalk leading to Bar Cesar with and without the shelter of umbrellas. I wonder whether all of these people have destinations that they have to rush to, or whether they are just rushing to avoid the dampness.
I read an Atlantic article this morning about a scientific study showing that people have gotten more lonely over the years. Rather than the typical blaming of social media and technology distracting us from genuine in-person connections with others, this article went deeper. It talked about how you can be surrounded by people, and still feel lonely. You can have your needs taken care of by another, and yet you still feel lonely.
The authors suggests that the “cure” to loneliness is volunteering with an organization that you care about, since doing something for someone else will make you feel better and connected to the community. This made me think, how can we integrate these acts of service into our everyday lives? Many of us only have a very finite amount of time in which to donate to actual volunteering, and so it made me think how can we be helpful to those around us, in those little moments. Like, opening doors for other people. Or smiling at people you don’t know — maybe that would brighten their day, who knows. Or helping someone carry something heavy. I think a lot of these little acts require a certain kind of attention to details in your surroundings — details that could be lost if you’re constantly seeking distraction from your phone, for example. Maybe today I’ll try to pay more attention to these and see what I can do to help somebody. I just kept an eye on someone’s laptop while they went to use the restroom, so that’s deed number one!
