Intimacy. It matters the most right now.
Wow, it’s been awhile. A long while.
I haven’t written for Pillow since 2018, but been thinking about this platform on a regular basis. I mean, intimacy and relating never falls out of my heart. Ever.
If anything, these values I carry, feel even more golden since the global lockdown. I slowly watched relationships go through the wringer. I listened and shared stories with many couples and friends, who started to see their own personal and relational patterns playing out under a magnifying glass all across the world.
For some couples, the opportunity to get sexier, deeper and more playful thrived. Some recounted endless ways to get creative at home. It felt like freedom in the bedroom finally arrived, because they spent so much time having to commute or work long hours, or setting up excess time to keep “busy” socially, that they’ve long forgotten what it’s like to really take a holiday at home. Some reconnected in this way because they never had the space to and now they could.
Other couples, depending on past conditioning, traumas & experiences growing up, and historical relationship challenges, had a difficult time working through the conflict, getting space, feeling balanced emotionally, staying physically healthy, working through fear and anxiety with the unknown, wanting diversity in their social lives, seeking novelty in the bedroom, losing sight of their love, and started to blame the relationship for their emotional troubles.
Of course, I was not immune to these feelings and this very strange global unraveling. I was also affected. That’s why this is so important to me. To say hello and share what Pillow has to offer.
The reality sets in no matter what, whether your partner is emotionally available or not, that it takes practice and presence to remember who you are. It takes presence, watching ourselves show up as a participant in the couple. And there’s nothing wrong with losing sight of that. It’s a balance of remembering when we forget. It’s a balance of accepting that we are not perfect.
There’s nothing wrong with needing support when times are rough and uncertain. There’s nothing wrong with desiring touch. There’s nothing wrong with needing some time to touch ourselves, or be with ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with any of it. We as human beings, are wired for soulful, emotional, physical and social connection. And with our Pillow collection of audio practices, I really hope you’ll find a way to connect to yourself and each other, in one of these ways.
We (Dazz and I) hope to remind you of this, by gifting you a simple, discreet and enjoyable approach to expanding or renewing what is important in an intimate relationship, during these quiet yet chaotic times, where intimacy is most needed. Be courageous and vulnerable; invite some time with your partner to be Lovers in Lockdown. Where freedom can be experienced in intimacy, even when you feel like you aren’t.
So much love and connection to all of you. You are not alone.
Downloadable at Pillow.
With 15 kisses and more,
Ann
Former Producer at Pillow
