Pink Pinjra
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Pink Pinjra

6 Qualities of Teamwork in a Marriage

Ok, so I admit I’ve been playing truant on Medium.

I’ve stopped writing and it’s definitely not a good thing, especially if writing was once (not so long ago) both my profession and passion.

This is probably the longest I’ve been away from blogging.

How long? You ask.

Two months…of abstinence from something I’ve loved more than anything else.

But life is such!

Suddenly you’re hit by a life event and your world completely topples over.

It would be lame (and so unprofessional) for me to blame my lacklustre writing spell on marriage…but I can’t put a finger on anything else!

Marriage has definitely changed my life and priorities.

While earlier I had enough time to ponder over life and its philosophies, today just time to ponder is a luxury!

The doing is all that matters — getting your hands dirty and doing what needs to be done…not for one, but for two.

But, such a joy it is.

Perhaps, even a roller coaster ride, as both parties negotiate daily chores, and alternate roles depending on who does what well.

Marriage is probably the truest test of teamwork, and brings into play all the qualities of a good team player.

Here are a few qualities I’ve observed and learned in the past few months of being married... Feel free to add your own in the comment box below.

1. You always put the team first

“Individual commitment to a group effort — that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilisation work.” — Vince Lombardi

And even a marriage work!

Yes, it’s not you and me but ‘us’… ‘Us’ is probably the biggest project you work on day after day.

The ‘us’ is both the process and the goal, the means and the destination. You look at what works for each with the view to keep both happy, not just one… And, in that endeavour, both stay happy!

2. You understand your strengths and contribute accordingly

“The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.” — Phil Jackson

Each player in a team comes with his own expertise and his own personality, and that’s exactly what makes teamwork so vibrant and collaborative.

A joint effort is when the task is divided as per one’s strengths, and each can totally depend on the other to play their role. Of course, when you need bailing out, the other should come to your rescue…

So, while it’s good to specialise in one thing, you must have a little knowledge of everything else too. Read, the kitchen is not just a woman’s domain, or the finances a man’s, and vice-versa.

3. You enjoy doing things together

“It takes two flints to make a fire.” — Louisa May Alcott

Each partner will always have their own set of interests and hobbies. But, what creates a spark, is the ability to take an interest in what the other does, and participate in it fully as well.

Doing things together that both love is an added bonus… It helps create that special bond in the relationship and gives you the much needed time together amid busy schedules.

4. You create a positive environment

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.” — H.E. Luccock

When you feel positive vibes from a particular person, a group or a place, it’s because so much has been done to keep the environment positive and creative… A space has been created to allow people to sing their individual songs and still come together as an orchestra when needed.

This is largely the result of setting aside differences, putting away your ego, not needing to have the last word in every argument…generally overlooking petty issues, and keeping the big picture in mind.

5. You keep channels of communication open and laugh often!

“If you can laugh together, you can work together.” — Robert Orben

Communication is the cornerstone of successful teamwork. The ability to simply listen to the other, or say what you feel without hesitation, helps both in the team work with a light and open heart.

More importantly, the ability to simply laugh at each other, and at a situation, plays a key role in lightening up one’s mood and the moment. If you have nothing to laugh about, simply play your favourite dramedy on any OTT platform, and enjoy those moments of laughter together.

6. You make flexibility and improvisation your mantra

“It is the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) that those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.” — Charles Darwin

When I started doing yoga, my sole aim was to become more flexible — touch my toes, fold my legs in lotus pose…you get the drift. Little did I know, the flexibility of the body would trickle to the mind, and now to my married life too!

Just the ability to adapt to another, to live in a new place, to devise your own new rules in a relationship, and sometimes tackle completely uncertain situations…still smile through it all in a state of sthiram sukham — or equanimity and happiness — as yoga would call it, has definitely helped me in the new phase of life.

I’d like to finally conclude with my favourite quote below, which aptly sums up the daily lifelong work that goes into making any team work, and even keeping a marriage, alive, joyful and satisfying.

“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” — Henry Ford

Marriage merely brings two together, what matters is what you do to keep it together… The glue of love, respect and mutual trust that you pore into it day after day to keep it together…so that what blooms are not just two happy souls, but happiness that spreads to those around as well.

Thus, the qualities of teamwork can be applied to every area of our lives, especially our relationships, helping us enjoy and cherish our moments together to the fullest!

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