Has COVID-19 Built a Great Wall in Our Relationships?
I got a forward on Whatsapp that spoke about how this (Corona Virus) is probably the longest that something made in China has ever lasted.
As usual, I too forwarded it to a friend, who in China’s defence said — ‘But in all fairness, they’ve also built The Great Wall.’
Point taken. But, isn’t this also similar to The Great Wall…
We have had to wall ourselves in our homes, and create great divides, at least one metre long, between us and anyone else, so as to protect us from the enemy.
And, fortunately or unfortunately, the wall is no longer just keeping us away from the virus, but is also keeping us away from a past lifestyle, that we once thought essential to our survival.
Everyone’s idea of survival is seeing a paradigm shift now…
With this re-calibration and readjustment, many are questioning if certain aspects of their lives still need to survive in a post-COVID world…particularly, relationships.
By relationships, I don’t mean just human relationships, but even the relationship with your work, with fitness, with food, with entertainment, with free time, with your mind, with a higher force, and most importantly with yourself.
Corona virus times have shown us what’s important and what’s not, what we can live with and what we can’t live without… Even what we may or not be able to put up with in the present moment, or in the future, when we have a new normal.
So, perhaps, it was not just the earth revolting, and waking us up into action or inaction, but also our own consciousness — which can now be heard more clearly in the stillness — telling us to reassess and re-evaluate everything in our lives, from our basic needs to our relationships.
Which made me think has COVID-19 brought us together as a race, or, has it, in fact, further increased the divide in an already isolated and individualistic world?
Well, in my case, I’ve realised that relationships that were strong have continued to stay strong during the lockdown, but the ones that had weak immunity have succumbed to the virus.
For example, I’ve been having a super relationship with yoga and my fitness routine over the past three–four years, and my commitment to it has only got deeper during the lockdown… I may give up watching a movie, but I will not give up my one-and-a-half-hour daily practice on my yoga mat.
And, you’ll probably see that with yourself too — If you enjoy doing something and specialise in it, you will do more of it during the lockdown… For instance, the ones in a family who like going out and shopping, will be the ones standing in queues at the grocery store...
Or, the ones who like cooking, will now have a reason to be more creative with their culinary skills, optimising the ingredients they have at home.
During the lockdown — like any other crisis — we’ve also realised who we want to reach out to, and who we’d rather stay away from.
In all likelihood, the people you reach out to will be the people you are most comfortable with, and who you know have the sense and sensibility to go beyond the superficial and accept you in the now, without any artifice.
These would most likely be your closest and most trusted circle of friends and family, who you will continue to stay connected with through technology.
The lockdown has even connected us to our immediate neighbours in a more meaningful way…
While we may not have spoken to them much when our lives were busy, now we knock on their door more often and ask for something, or ask them if they need something from us.
Moreover, if a building or apartment complex is sealed, the only people you can lean on are those living inside it… No one else from the outside will be able to help, for fear of contracting the virus.
What the lockdown has essentially done then, is taken away the fuss from relationships…
Now the ones that matter are those that are relevant to our lives on an immediate basis, and can also add value to it, without draining any more energy.
You may reach out to many virtually, but finally the ones you will depend on are those closest to you, both in terms of proximity and metaphorically.
For most of us, those are the people we are living with, our immediate families... Or, for those single or living alone, perhaps friends and neighbours they can reach out to for immediate help.
It’s perhaps then, the immediacy of a crisis that finally helps us realise what or who is important to our lives right here, right now.
Which brings me to the final realisation — that, maybe, relationships, just like everything else, first and foremost need a functional aspect to them… However much we may like to romanticise them in our days of freedom and luxury, in times of crisis, the relationships that survive are the ones that serve us well…the rest will fall by the way side.
Does that mean we will lead leaner meaner, more insulated lives after COVID-19?
No. It essentially means we will start learning what and who to prioritise, because we now realise that life is indeed too short and fragile to waste on what doesn’t matter in the here and now.
We will get more economical, not just in our spending and consumption patterns — because of the impending recession — but perhaps also in our relationships with everything around us…
And, we will realise that immunity building can only happen when we conserve our energy for the right reasons, events, and people.
We will be more watchful and guarded in a post COVID world, but we will also understand self-love and self-reliance better, eventually making us more confident and independent as individuals.
Maybe that’s the best lesson the Chinese have taught us — to look inward rather than outward…
For governments to give the necessary boost to indigenous industries, to promote in-house innovation and manufacturing, and enable good quality mass production, so that each country is self-contained and self-sufficient.
The whole pandemic has important lessons to teach us all, and it’s for each of us to reflect, rewire, and reboot so that we don’t lose the lessons once again…
It’s time to look within, find peace within, and more importantly, find love within…
Because, till that doesn’t happen, no wall big enough or long enough will ever prevent us from surmounting a crisis, and reaching out with necessary immunity to heal ourselves and the world!
Stay safe, stay home, stay healthy, stay connected and stay loved… You are your biggest strength and your best relationship…don’t let any virus destroy that!
If you liked the blog, do share with friends and family… Together let’s spread hope and strength in these ever-changing and uncertain, still essential days of our lives!
