I Lost Myself to Find Myself

‘I feel as if I was born to come here,’ I said to my roommate, after my first glance at the majestic mountain Kailash.
When I looked at the mighty mountain, the abode of Lord Shiva, it evoked in me a sense of reverence and awe, as also a sense of protection and energy… A connection unlike any I’ve experienced before.
Mount Kailash is the ultimate destination for meditators and devotees of diverse religions like Hinduism, Buddhism, Bon and Jainism.
For Hindus, particularly, it is a pilgrimage undertaken to partake of the wisdom of the first yogi or the founder of yoga or the Adiyogi — Shiva.
But who is Shiva I ask, and what is he here to teach us?
Shiva is the epitome of dissolution and nothingness. A symbol of merging into complete destruction or darkness…of unmaking yourself only to be made once again.
Regeneration is an important part of life...
Especially important for those on the spiritual path. It shows us that just when you think you’ve arrived, that’s exactly when you have to get dismantled once again to move forward.
Because every journey demands a new you. In fact, every day needs you to be born again…
When rebirth or regeneration becomes a process you are in control of, you have essentially come to a state of complete peace with the outer world…
Now all that matters is the inner world. And if you can create that at will, you are indeed a master of your will.
Shiva thus becomes symbolic of that mastery over self…something every spiritual seeker and meditator works toward... Shiva is the epitome of supreme will.
My journey to Kailash began several months ago, when I made up my mind to take the trip, and answer the Master’s call.
It took several months of planning and preparation… It also took discipline and commitment to exercise daily, walking or jogging at least 5km per day, if not more.
It wasn’t going to be a holiday for sure, trekking at 15,000+ feet above sea level… One had to be mentally, physically and emotionally prepared to survive and enjoy the terrain.
Moreover, one had to be receptive to the energies of the place, without worrying about health and fitness.
But I now believe the journey began a really long time ago…
Perhaps at the time of one’s birth, or maybe another lifetime…like every other journey that is destined to be made.
So when did it really start then, and will it ever end?
As I return home, ‘with a little bit of Kailash in me’, as Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev says, I know that the journey has no end or beginning…
It’s a connection of a lifetime, one I will keep revisiting every time I need to draw on inner strength to regenerate and reinvent myself.
Perhaps we will make many journeys to meet our Masters, and to enhance the mastery over self. But, for me, this one was surely a journey of a lifetime, with impressions and memories that will last forever.
They say you carry over past karma…I now feel you also carry over unfinished journeys... If so, Kailash could be visited in every lifetime…unless of course Moksha kicks in first! :)
Pink Pinjra is all about expression… And sometimes the highest form of expression comes from your connection with nature, with supreme and rock solid creations of the universe that have so much to offer you.
Every time, I’m with nature, and powerful energies like Mount Kailash, I feel a strange connection and contentment that leads to heightened insight and consequently better expression.
This connection and communication ultimately leads to a greater union with one’s self. I’ve now realised that while experiences can transform you, expression can empower you.
If you too would like to give wings to your experiences, and share life transforming experiences with us, write in to pinkpinjra@gmail.com, or submit your article here.
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