HUMOR

Best 7 Productivity Tips for Dogs

By Mr. Joe, noted dog-fluencer

Michelle Teheux
Pitfall
Published in
5 min readSep 23, 2024

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A dog sitting in front of a computer
Another overworked doggo. Photo by Pavel Herceg on Unsplash

Mr. Joe, who shares my office, asked me to share his top paw-ductivity tips. If your dog struggles to complete his to-do list each day, share this information with your dog:

Tip №1: Get up early!

All other productivity rules depend on this one.

You’ll find the rest of the household will follow your lead. Some lazy humans have been known to sleep past 5 a.m. if you don’t take charge. Always — no matter how late you’ve been up — get up before 5, and make sure your humans get up, too.

They may mutter they feel tired, but be persistent. Whine piteously and imply you need to pee. They’ll grumble, but they’ll get up. If they fail to do so, leave a small mess by the back door for them to clean up. They’ll feel guilty for not letting you out and will haul themselves out of bed faster the next time.

By training your humans to get up early, it’s more likely that they’ll do better at their jobs, ensuring they can afford to buy you more treats and toys.

A dog lying on the bed with money
I did not get to the point of being able to roll around on money by sleeping in, I’ll tell you that. It took hard work (and an account on Bonely Fans). (Photo by Michelle Teheux)

Tip №2: Get plenty of

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Michelle Teheux
Pitfall

Lover of literature. Former newspaper editor. Fascinated by everything. Contact: michelleteheux@gmail.com. To buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/michelleteheux