The art of quitting — a parent’s reflection
Vi is not particularly great at soccer. He is not the worst, either. He can move, dribble, pass, shoot and stop. Although, let’s say he is more enthusiastic than adequate — in all those departments. Juggling soccer and drum lessons for the last five years (he is eleven now), he’s banging out rhythms on the drums with little effort. Soccer, though, is a different story. Imagine being the goalie who dreams of the day they’ll stop a ball coming straight at them. Yeah, that’s Vi.
This whole scenario got my wife and me thinking — should we nudge him to hang up his soccer cleats? Now, we do not push for perfection in every endeavor. We’re also firm believers in giving something your best shot. We even give generous marks for just showing up.
But it did spark a broader contemplation within me. When is it okay to quit? And, honestly, quitting isn’t as much a dirty word as it is made out to be. It’s not giving up; it’s stepping towards something potentially more fulfilling. But the big question lingers — when? How do you measure enough effort? How do you know when to persevere and when to quit?
Let’s break it down — keeping it real and light.
- Check Your Joy Meter
First things first, are you still finding joy in this pursuit? If the answer leans more towards a grimace than a grin, it’s a red flag. Life’s too short for joyless endeavors. If my son’s excitement for soccer were near his passion for drumming, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. Not today, at least. If your hobby or job feels more like a chore, it might be time to reassess. Joy is the secret sauce that makes any activity worth pursuing. If it’s missing, it might be time to look elsewhere.
- Effort vs. Reward
We’re all about putting in the effort, but at what cost? It might be time to pivot if you’re giving your all and the rewards (satisfaction, growth, or happiness) aren’t stacking up. Remember, it’s not just about the physical rewards; personal fulfillment counts for a lot. If every dribble and every goal attempt ends in frustration rather than growth or even a hint of satisfaction, it’s worth reevaluating. At the very least, effort should lead to personal joy or development.
2. The Stress Factor
Is this thing we’re clinging to serving as a stress reliever or a stress-builder? Adulting is hard enough without adding unnecessary stress. If soccer is causing more anxiety than excitement for my son, it defeats the purpose. Stress can be a significant growth inhibitor. If your commitment leaves you more frazzled than fulfilled, it’s worth questioning its place in your life.
3. The Silent Signals
Vi often struggles to articulate his feelings. He prefers claiming that he is okay over engaging in an awkward exploration of his feelings. Sometimes, as adults, we say everything’s “fine” because we dread admitting otherwise, even to ourselves. But deep down, we know. Are you enthusiastic about this activity or going through the motions? Pay attention to your energy levels, those gut feelings, what your body is trying to tell you — they’re usually onto something.
4. Seeking Wisdom
There is no need for a sage on a mountaintop, but a little external perspective can help. Friends, family, or colleagues might offer insights you hadn’t considered. Sometimes, it takes another set of eyes to see what’s best for us. We plan to talk to his soccer coach.
5. Embracing the Exit
Here’s where we flip the script on quitting. Quitting isn’t failing; it’s choosing. It’s deciding that your time, energy, and happiness are worth redirecting when something is not serving you. Every time we quit something that’s not working, we open the door to something that might. It’s about growth. It is a valuable lesson in prioritization and self-awareness.
6. Timing is Everything
So, when to pull the plug? After you’ve given it an honest shot. That might mean different things for different situations — a few months in a new role, a season in a soccer league. If there’s more dread than excitement, more drain than gain, it’s time.
7. The Quitting Lesson
Quitting teaches us resilience, listening to ourselves, and making tough decisions. It’s a lesson in self-care and recognizing our worth. It’s about understanding that changing course for our happiness and well-being is okay.
Remember, this isn’t just about quitting. It’s about being intentional with our lives and our choices. Whether it’s a job, a hobby, or a social commitment, staying aligned with what brings us joy, fulfillment, and peace is crucial.
So, here’s to permit ourselves to quit, explore, and find what makes us tick. Here’s to the next chapter, the next adventure, or the next quiet evening at home. Whatever brings you joy, chase it. And if that means quitting something else to get there. Cheers to our journeys wherever they may lead.
