Kirby Arrested on Charges of Manslaughter

DREAM LAND, Planet Popstar — Local officials confirmed on Tuesday morning that Kirby, one of Nintendo’s longtime icons, has been taken into custody after multiple allegations of manslaughter surfaced.

Officials say they can not disclose any of the specific details of the case at this time, but one anonymous source described to us their current findings as being “disturbing.”

Kirby, whose latest adventure Kirby Star Allies was only released mere months ago, did not issue a comment regarding these latest developments. The adorable pink alien has long been considered one of the most positive, stand-up stars of the gaming industry, so the situation has caused quite a stir amongst the Nintendo fanbase.

“There’s just no way,” says Fox McCloud, who has starred alongside Kirby in the blockbuster Super Smash Brothers series. “Obviously there’s some kind of mistake, because I know that guy,” says McCloud.

Officials say that the general public should remain calm and expect many more details in the coming weeks.