When should I get a mentor?

Kal M Sayid
Aug 25, 2016 · 5 min read

Now.

Why should you get a mentor now?

What is a mentor?

Let’s start with what a mentor, is not:

Not a mentor.

Most people confuse mentors with coaches. A coach is someone that meets with you on a regular basis, every Tuesday and Thursday for example. A coach is someone that reviews your technique and provides specific feedback and instruction. A coach motivates you, inspires you, and keeps you accountable. There are coaches in all areas of life, including life itself. A few common examples:

  • Business coach
  • Health coach
  • Sex coach — yes, this exists

You should pay your coach. This is their job, and often times, how your coach earns a living.

What a mentor is:

A mentor’s job is not to instruct, but rather challenge you, ask you questions, and make you uncomfortable. A mentor is someone that sees your enemies before you do. A mentor’s duty is not to pump you up to make you feel great, but rather, humble you and prepare you for the great adversities you will face in your journey to greatness. A mentor is not going to give you a reminder-call at 4:30am to get your ass out of bed and start your day. That’s the job of you and your coach. A mentor will not chase you down to ensure you’re on top of your daily activities. But rather, disappear when she sees you’re not worthy and may be wasting her time. A coach is someone that will seek you out, and ask you to pay for his services. A mentor will take you on reluctantly, and there’s no amount of money that can be traded for her value. Your mentors will never ask for money. Rather, mentors only ask that you kill it in life. A coach will be there for you until you feel you don’t need him any longer. A mentor will leave you stranded and push you off a cliff, because she knows you’re ready to fly and doesn’t want to be your anchor.

How to find a mentor?

Livraria da Vila bookstore, by Isay Weinfeld Sao Paulo

Where to start

  • Think & Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill
  • The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday
  • Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
  • Do The Work, Steven Pressfield
  • How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie
  • 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John C Maxwell
  • Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson

Where to continue

This is the beginning. As you continue to help and mentor others, you will gravitate towards better and stronger people, while at the same time attracting them. You’ll gain courage and clarity in thought and speech. You will become more outspoken and carry yourself with a quiet confidence.

When you arrive

Your duty: Leave your mentor

Your single duty is to make your mentor obsolete. Believe me — a true mentor wants this. She doesn’t mentor you to feel better about herself. She’ll want to see you grow, flourish, and surpass her. This is the natural way of life. It is our responsibility to do better than our predecessors. We must continue to evolve.


Originally published at khalidm.ca on August 25, 2016.

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Kal M Sayid

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Beaming in and out of your existence with Cardassian swag and Vulcan logic. Party like a Klingon, know your Ferengi Rules of Acquisition and prosper!

PixelDreams

Pixel Dreams Creative