Focus on What You Want To Do, Not What You Want To Be
A reflection on the constant mimetic desire driven by social media.
Several studies show that younger generations are more affected by depression — often motivated by the constant observation of alleged overachievers on social media.
Someone who before the age of thirty already has fame and money is someone that generates mimetic desire in people, and they become examples to be followed.
However, this doesn’t make people reflect on what exactly they need to do, only on living a certain lifestyle.
So, here’s some advice for everyone who is deciding what they want for their future:
Deeply reflect on what you want to do every day, not who you want to be.
Let’s understand this better below.
The Balance Between Desire and Purpose
In Simon Sinek’s book “Start With The Why”, he demonstrates the logic of the golden circle. In short, any strategy for your life, your business or your career must start with a purpose.
Only after finding your purpose should you reflect on how and what to do to achieve it.
It’s easy to want a life of luxury and fame. However, it makes sense to pursue this if, to get there, you will need to:
- Give up your non-negotiable values?
- Completely fulfilling something you can’t stand?
- Being unhappy all the time?
Of course, I’m not saying that rich and famous people are dishonest or unhappy. What I’m saying is that the people who fail the mission are usually the ones who only want the ends, not the means.
The Exacerbated Mimicry of Modernity
According to the Mimetic Theory of the French thinker René Girard, all human beings tend to desire what others desire.
A certain individual starts desiring something because he has noticed another person desiring the same object.
The problem is that not everyone can achieve the desired thing, although many individuals want it. This means that, sooner or later, there will be some kind of conflict between these individuals.
The impulsive way to end this conflict would be to eliminate a scapegoat on which widespread violence is channeled. Eliminating the scapegoat also eliminates conflict, making peace reign again.
A young man who understands that he won’t achieve the life he sees on social media — and desires it — will certainly look for a scapegoat.
This scapegoat could be the very person whose life he would like to have, or it could be himself because he failed to satisfy the desire.
In both cases, this leads to symptoms that are very present in modernity:
- Anxiety.
- Depression.
- Low self-esteem.
- Lethargy.
And others.
How To Get Away From Mimicry by Stupid Things
Great achievements are only great because they rarely happen.
Instead, the way you spend most of your time must bring a sense of purpose to life.
Our brain gets used to and adjusts to normality. That’s why something too bold a goal may seem unattainable.
And what is the best way to resist this limiting belief? Progressively improving.
Even people who take unexpected leaps in life (like someone who wins the lottery, for example) will face this adjustment and will soon experience no increase in their sense of happiness.
Having a college degree, an award or an income boost is fleeting moments compared to the challenges we face every day.
So focus on something you can do — and enjoy doing — daily for years to come.
How To Train Our Brain for Great Achievements
Our brain induces a sense of happiness when we do something we are good at, something that will improve as we get more contact and experience.
Starting anything is always difficult.
Don’t be discouraged as the feeling of contentment will come with time.
As mentioned, we adapt, we gain strength and over time we get used to doing difficult things. With improvement comes happiness.
Focusing on doing what you want well also means a step forward in your life purpose.
Contrary to what we are led to think, it is not what you want that will bring about your purpose.
After all, it’s much harder to force yourself to do daily work when your goal is admirable only in appearance but distant. This will only lead to temporary happiness.
