A Story of Hope

Lord, what are you doing? I had seen that red letter date before. Five years before to be exact. February 22. Forever etched into my mind and heart as the due date of our firstborn, Hope. The beloved daughter we heartbreakingly lost at 23 weeks of pregnancy. Could it be true? Could I really be expecting again, a baby due on the same day as Hope, five years later?

These were all thoughts racing through my brain on this early morning back in June of this year. I woke my husband immediately. I just couldn’t wait. We both stared at each other in disbelief. In the days and weeks to come, reality set in and so did the nausea. An early ultrasound confirmed it. A new baby to arrive sometime around February 22. We were excited. We were terrified. We were also intrigued. This pregnancy would definitely be an emotional one.

See, our journey into parenthood has not been an easy one. We did not conceive very easily and then our first born, Hope, had a rare chromosome disorder that took her from us in the fifth month of pregnancy. Our precious baby girl came almost exactly one year later, perfect and healthy. Then, we were struck by loss as we tried to conceive again, two miscarriages in six months. We didn’t understand. Our hearts broken… again. Then, God did what He does best and brought us our bouncing baby boy almost exactly two years after our was born. Sweet blessings of grace and redemption. We were thankful, and life was full. Which brings us to six months ago.

I was not in a hurry to try again after everything we had been through. But we desired more children. So, I prayed that God would grow our family again when He was ready, if ever. But I was not expecting this.

This pregnancy has not gone exactly as I would’ve hoped. At our twenty week ultrasound in October, we were told that our precious baby GIRL would have a cleft lip and possibly palate. We have seen other specialists and gone to other appointments since then where they have confirmed this diagnosis and begun to prepare us for surgeries and treatments that will be needed after she’s born. All this can be very overwhelming. But we continue to pray for complete healing of our sweet baby girl in the womb.

It has been an emotional journey to say the least and lately, I have felt stirrings from the Lord to share our story. Not because we deserve attention or pity or recognition, but because it’s His story, one full of adventure and loss, joy and suffering, and most importantly hope. Maybe that is why this baby shares the same due date as our firstborn. To remind me to remember Hope. The hope that God is near, Immanuel, God with me, my Only hope. The God who creates and sustains life. And God with you. So here we begin our journey, a story of hope.

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans fo prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11