Your Cleft Journey: Your Beauty

It was joy. It was relief. It was love.

You were finally here. You were almost a week late. It was a Thursday morning, the last day of February. I started having contractions the night before, but they never got any stronger or faster. So, following the pattern your older siblings set before you, the doctors had to help things along.

I received successful epidurals in the past, but for some reason, this one did not work. I was feeling everything, except for my right thigh, and it was too late to do anything about it. So, after a couple of hours of the most painful contractions I had ever felt, lots of pushing, and scolding of my loud screams by the doctor, out you came sunny-side-up.

They placed you on my chest, and those familiar strong emotions flooded my entire being. I was in love. You were a little blue so they took you to the warmer to get you stable. Your Daddy never took his eyes off of you, and he buried his head in your Gigi’s shoulder and wept tears of relief and joy. Kelsey, my doula and friend, came to tell me the amazing news: your palate was intact! Praise be to God! He had heard our prayers.

Of course, I noticed your cleft when I first saw you, but what I noticed more was how much you resembled your older sister, the thick tuft of light brown hair atop your head, your chubby cheeks, and baby blue eyes. You were ours, all 9 lbs 2 oz of you. Our little beauty. I loved you fiercely.

I knew then the journey would be messy, imperfect, and full of mountains to climb, but I also knew this: God made you and He loved you. You were His masterpiece and you were beautiful. Your journey would be beautiful because you are beautiful.