How to make everyday fun with kids? And how to instill good values & behaviours?
“Enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be dead.”— Hans Christian Andersen
Playing as a family is not limited to games. In fact, we have found it very important to ensure our playful attitude continues within every day activities, so that we can maximize our children’s sense of connection and learning.
The first step we followed was to think about what are the values that were important to us and that we wanted to reinforce through play and conversation with them. A good friend of mine, Karis, had given me this tip and it has been a life-changer. You can think of your top three values and how they will then link to specific behaviours you want to reinforce in your children. For us, we chose playful, outward-looking and adventurous, and it means these are some of the things we reinforce in our children.
For instance, when my kids do not want to share, I may say “in our family we want to be known for kindness” instead of saying “you need to share”. Every day at dinner table we play the “helping game”. We each in turn need to answer two questions: “Who did you help today?” and “Who helped you today”? This is a great way for kids to learn what kindness looks like, and also to ensure that they look every day for opportunities to help others. Similarly, if they don’t show interest in learning about something new, I will say “in our family we like to be curious”, and as parents we will often share something new that we learned during the day.
I then try to mix that up with small games which we can play in everyday chores and situations. Waiting in line can be a great opportunity as well as washing up dishes.
Some examples of the everyday “play” in our family include:
- Choumreap sour (Hello!) points: I had noticed my kids were not polite with some of the Cambodian people that we encounter every day, for instance the security guard at the school or the tuktuk driver, often not even saying hello. So I created a game where they can earn one point each time they do the formal greeting (Sampeah- Choumreap sour) to Cambodians and that the person smiles back. This means they now always notice people around them and have become more polite
- Clean up song and dance: If they don’t clean after themselves after finishing a game, I will put on a song (always the same one, a joyful, quick-paced one, Pretty Woman) which they know is the “clean up song” and we all have to clean up everything before the song is finished.
- Fruit points: My kids were not eating enough vegetables, preferring biscuits and sugary things. They can now earn a point each time they eat fruit for their snack.
- Clothes race: My kids were often slow to get dressed in the morning. So we usually do a little race of who can get dressed quicker in the morning — parents vs children.
- Basketball laundry: My kids would often leave their clothes on the floor. So we pretend they are playing basketball each time they correctly throw their clothes into the laundry basket.
- Clean plate club: One of my sons is a picky eater. So, when he finished his plate we shout “clean plate club” and do a little dance to celebrate.
- What do you see: To encourage him to eat his watermelon (he is picky eater), I’ll ask my son at each bite to create a funny shape.
- A E I O U teeth: My kids didn’t want to brush their teeth, so we created a little song routine (AEIOU) which they can use when they brush their teeth.
-Cooking together: My 5 year-old boy loves to cook with me and we try to make it playful. He helps me measure ingredients, break the eggs, mix, etc. It teaches him quantities, patience and he is proud of the result when everyone eats his creation.
- Helping someone prayer: Every day when I put the kids to bed I ask them to think about someone they want to pray for (instead of praying only for themselves). It is like a little game for them to come up with someone, and helps them become less selfish.
- Saying sorry duel: When my boys fight, I try to avoid getting into the details of who was at fault and instead tell them they can win the “sorry” race by being the first to say sorry. I say “1–2–3” and usually they both say “sorry” on the count of three as they want to win the race. This works best for small disputes — for the bigger ones see the article on siblings fighting.
- If the fight is still ongoing (for instance, who gets the first story at bedtime), I ask the kids to figure out the solution together and then come to me with a solution. That way they need to cooperate to figure this out together like an enigma and practice problem-solving.
A good way to figure out what “everyday fun” you want to incorporate in your family life is to think about creating some family traditions and family habits. What are the family traditions that you want? How can you incorporate some elements of play into them? For us, almost every week-end we follow the same routine, because that way kids know what to expect — a great way to avoid tantrums — and because we can make sure in that routine to always make time for playing together, singing, reading etc.
