30 Years' Worth of Lessons

On October 2, 2021, I turned 30 years old.

I've been through so much. Good and bad. I made a lot of mistakes and learned a great deal.

As I grow older, I find myself unlearning many things and accepting others. And sometimes, I get confused, lost, and forget everything I've learned. Therefore, I'm dedicating this page to my past and future selves. I'll write a different lesson every day until I turn 31 which is on October 2nd, 2022 as a reminder that I've survived and am ready for the future.

I hope this helps you too :)

1. Don't get busy saving others. Save yourself first.

You are not here to change the world.
You're not here to save anyone.
You're not here to "make a difference."
You're not here to live in other people's reality.
You're here to grow, evolve, and learn from your mistakes.
Focus on yourself.
Fix your issues, life, and personality, and heal your wounds.
Only then will you be able to give back and add value to this world.
It's not the other way around.

August 27, 2022

2. You don't need to correct other people's assumptions about you.

Let them do the work of discovering the real you. If they never do, it's their loss. People's assumptions are part of their reality, not yours.

August 28, 2022

3. When there's no one around, you can be your own home, safety, and security.

It doesn't mean you're sad or lonely. It means you're strong and have faith in yourself.

August 29, 2022

4. Don't shy away from setting boundaries.

But remember that some people will refuse to accept them. They will get angry, blame you, and accuse you of things. Accept that this is who they are and calmly move on. You don't need to over-explain or apologize.

August 30, 2022

5. Love is not enough

A romantic relationship cannot survive based on love alone. It also needs the willingness to grow, shared values, effort, money, one location, kindness, emotional & physical support, owning your mistakes, and well intentions. Remember, love is only the first step in a relationship.

August 31, 2022

6. Your past self is your only competition. It's always you against you.

Don't compare your life, career, body, skills, money, or worth to anyone else. Every person has a different journey and what they've been through led them to where they are now. The same goes for you. Thus, it's an unfair comparison. No one is better or worse than anyone. We are what we make of our stories. So, stick to yours.

September 1, 2022

7. Hesitation is the universe's telling you to stop and think about it.

When you feel like you can't decide, often it means you're not ready to do so. Or you don't want to do what's making you hesitant. So, don't pressure yourself to choose. Take your time because the universe is telling you something; you must listen.

September 2, 2022

8. Your trauma doesn't define you

What you've been through when you didn't have control doesn't define who you are. What you became despite it is who you chose to be. Trauma is a part of our stories but not the whole story.

Remember, you're a victim no longer. You're a survivor.

September 3, 2022

9. A woman's body has all the answers

Let that sink in.

September 4, 2022

10. Pay attention to yourself when you:

• Overshare
• Feel unheard
• Talk loudly
• Over-explain
• Can't focus
• Apologize for no reason
• Interrupt others
• Can't listen
• Become reactive

These are all signs that you're struggling inside and externalizing your emotions in a toxic way. So, be silent, go inwards, and listen to yourself. Write down how you truly feel and process it.

September 5, 2022

11. Sometimes…

Sometimes letting go is the only way to grow.
Sometimes giving up is the only way to succeed.
Sometimes you will mistake fear for patience.
Sometimes the only way to finish faster is to slow down.
Sometimes "I'm sorry" means they're not.
Sometimes villains look like heroes.
Sometimes family is not the home you need.
Sometimes their kindness is fake.
Sometimes you are all you got. And that's ok.

P.S. What is your 'sometimes'?
September 6, 2022

12. When everything in your life feels off, ask yourself these two questions:

1. How do you want to feel every day?
2. What will you do every day that will make you feel that way?

Example:

Every day I want to feel at peace, safe, and have clarity

What should I do everyday?

* To feel at peace: be around people I love, create or consume creativity, move my body.

* To feel safe: make money and own a home.

* To have clarity: connect with my inner true self, work on my mental health, and have self-awareness.

P.S. I'm curious to know your answers. Share below :D
September 7, 2022

13. Be hopeful

September 8, 2022

14. Your body will change as you grow. Your feelings towards it should not.

Imagine if your partner loves you and compliments you when you're fit, accomplished, rich, young, strong, and independent. But as you grow older and some of these things change, your partner starts resenting you; they get angry, call you names, and even stop looking at you.

Isn't that harsh and awful? (Also, let's not be with partners like that, please)

Sadly, that's how society taught us to treat our bodies from a young age.

So, STOP! Be kind to the body that is your home. Appreciate, accept, and enjoy every change your body goes through. It's another part of your story. And don't be like the toxic imaginary partner we just created :)

September 9, 2022

15. Trust your gut feeling

If a person, place, or group of people makes you feel uneasy, trust your gut feeling and leave, even when you can't make sense of that feeling. Your body is telling you there's something off; listen and trust.

September 10, 2022

16. Your art will always speak your truth. Especially the ugly one

When you create to impress someone, prove or expect something, be remembered, or "help others," your art will carry and deliver that exact intention.

Then, after a little while, your art will fade, and so will you.

Therefore, create when the necessity to express exceeds the fear of judgment and opinions.
Create when you feel like your life depends on it.
Create when the sole purpose is to express your genuine, raw emotions regardless of the outcome.
Create when you need your art to speak for you.
Create for your inner child, not for others.

September 11, 2022

17. "Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know" — Pema Chödrön

September 12, 2022

18. I'm proud of you, kid 🖤

Don't wait for others to say it to you. Just look back at your life and what you've accomplished, big or small, and be proud of what you've become.

September 13, 2022

19. Nature is home to your soul

Nature will forever be another home to return to when you are in pain, lost, or looking for inspiration. It could be a small plant by your apartment window, a tree across the street, or a forest in the middle of nowhere. It will always be near you; keep looking for it.

September 14, 2022

20. It's not always about you. You're not the center of the world, sweety.

• Be careful of centering yourself in other people's suffering. You might think, "you're helping," but you're trying to save a past version of yourself. And it's not helping anyone.
• Don't project your pain onto others. It's not their fault.
• Don't expect people to be or think as you do.
• People have issues to deal with; give them the space and the respect they need.
• Learn to see things from their perspective. And it's ok if you can't relate, sometimes being there is just enough.
• Stop assuming things about others. It will only complicate things; believe me, I know.

September 15, 2022

21. Listen, Listen, and LISTEN

• Try listening when you do everything you can to solve a problem and nothing works. Stop talking or complaining and listen to your inner voice, the people involved, and the universe.
• Everything happens for a reason. All you need to do is be quiet and listen.

September 16, 2022

22. Perseverance and patience will get you far in life.

Keep going. I believe in you.

September 17, 2022

23. Love is not everything. But loving yourself is.

Your love for yourself should always stay the same regardless of whom you love. Be it a partner, a friend, a job, or an alien. Once it changes, you're doing something toxic. Losing people or things you love is hard, but losing yourself is much harder.

September 18, 2022

24. Stop criticizing, instead ask questions

Sometimes our first reaction to things we don't like or understand is to criticize. It could be because we're afraid of change, we want to prove we're more intelligent, or we're trying to be honest. Criticism can start a defensive conversation that lacks listening and proper communication. Therefore, replace it with deep and thoughtful questions to understand and connect with the other person.

September 19, 2022

25. Your body makes no mistakes. It only reacts. Take care of it. It's all you've got at the end of the day.

September 20, 2022

26. Ask questions, learn, practice, and make mistakes.

REPEAT.

September 21, 2022

27. As long as you work on yourself, you won't repeat your parents' mistakes.

September 22, 2022

28. Your work, status, money, achievements, and loved ones don't equal your worth.

Imagine one day you lose everything you own and love, your job, money, home, freedom, and loved ones. Nothing, and nobody is by your side anymore.

You might think, what would be left to live for?

You!

There's still so much in you. You're worthy of everything you want regardless of where you are.

You got you. ALWAYS.

Nina Simone said it better "Ain't Got No, I Got Life."

September 23, 2022

29. It's ok to make mistakes. You can afford it now.

September 24, 2022

30. Try to be around people who are:

• Consistent
• Honest
• Always evolving
• Patient
• Calm
• Good listeners
• Have nothing to prove
• Own up to their mistakes
• Don't smoke
• Preferably with a gentle and soft voice, and they smell nice 😛

And yes, they do exist.

September 25, 2022

31. When you feel unaccomplished, list everything you have done.

When you apply for a job, you submit a portfolio showing the best work you have done to convince the potential employer that you're qualified. Now, I want you to do the same but for yourself. On peace of paper, write down everything you've created, big or small, published or not, because every creation has taught you something. Reflect on each project and remind yourself how much you learned from it and where it led you. Celebrate where you are now and encourage yourself to move forward.

September 26, 2022

32. Pay attention when you find yourself giving far more than you should at work

Slow down, step away and ask yourself:

• Am I trying to prove something?
• Am I trying to be seen?
• Am I making things hard for myself?
• Is this worth sacrificing my work-life balance?
• Is this within my core values?
• Am I crossing my boundaries?
• Am I trying to be the savior? (as in save the day and be the hero!!)

September 27, 2022

33. Perfectionism is deadly

A perfectionist is an enemy of mistakes, progress, learning, and growing. The core value of a perfectionist is to hold back and stop trying until everything is perfect, which is never.

Be careful of becoming that. Allow your inner child to explore and learn from every failure. That's the beauty of life. Don't stop. Always keep trying.

September 28, 2022

34. Be authentic

September 29, 2022

35. Healing takes time

Take it slow and embrace the ups and downs of the healing process.

September 30, 2022

36. Be Slow, steady, and consistent

Rushing through experiences will limit the value you get from them. Trying to learn faster makes you slower. So, respect the nature of life and focus on progress rather than quick and temporary results.

October 1, 2022

37. You are free now.

Tell stories, make games, travel the world, dance, and always be your true authentic self.

October 2, 2022

THE END…