Ken Burns, Director of “Baseball”, Is Nothing Compared To My Cat Who Woke Me Up At 4 AM
One of my resolutions this year was to get into more sports beyond college football (Roll Tide). I picked baseball; that was my first choice because I was on a terrible Christian youth team for two years. Since it’s the off-season right now, all one can do is watch free agents get signed or other players get traded. I also thought it necessary to watch Ken Burns’ groundbreaking documentary on the history of baseball, but now I have no need. My cat will wake me up at four in the morning to tell me things about baseball.
I’ve been sick for the past couple of days, and with that comes bad sleep. With the peaked interest in baseball (and also pro football), I’m almost certain I had vivid fever dreams about it all. Fear not, I tell myself, for my cat will jump up on my bedside desk at 4 o’ clock in the morning to assure me that Satchel Paige didn’t really pitch a fireball to the moon. He will do this several times, because he is an experienced historian in this manner, and, dare I say it, better than Ken Burns.
Burns’ documentary series usually last around seventeen to twenty hours, which most people will probably binge-watch over the course of two or three days, because man is an arrogant beast. My cat eliminates the need for binge-watching by giving all of his information to me while I am asleep. Ken Burns ought to learn more from my cat; or, at least, he should get himself a cat, for they are irreplaceable sources of information which need to be treasured. He’s also incredibly versatile in ways of conveying interesting points about baseball to me, such as:
- Licking my face
- Sitting directly on my face
- Making noises I cannot directly correlate to a living cat
- Begging me to feed him at 5:30 AM, which I do because I have to piss anyway
- Barging into my door and purring incredibly loudly
And the list goes on.
In short, my cat is a harbinger of essential information about the wonderful world of baseball, and even though he is just a little animal, he still manages to look more alive than Joe Buck.
