When Your 15–18-month-old Acts Like the “Terrible Two’s”

When babies are around 15–18 months of age, many parents have their first experiences with unusually aggressive behavior that may leave them thinking — what is this? Where did that come from? I thought “terrible twos” are only for 2-year-old’s! And what am I supposed to do about it?

At this age, when babies don’t get what they want, they may exhibit aggressive behaviors such as grunting, yelling, changes in breathing patterns, hitting, pushing, slapping, or biting. This is developmentally appropriate and can stem from a few things — your toddler has a strong desire to do things for herself, but isn’t yet physically able to, so she can be easily frustrated. She also experiences many different feelings but doesn’t have the words to express how she feels or what she wants, so she may behave in a certain way or “act out” in order to express herself.

When your child is this young and you are just starting to deal with challenging behaviors, the best thing is to remember that children at this age don’t have the self-control to inhibit these behaviors. Also know that all children differ in terms of their reactiveness — so your child isn’t “good” or “bad” or “better” or “worse” than others. Your child will benefit from your patience and having you narrate and validate her emotions. You can say, “You want that” or “You are mad” or “You want a break”. This will teach your child as time progresses to use words rather than physical aggression to express emotions. After narrating emotions, you can use simple terms to express what you expect and guide her to preferred behaviors. For example, “We talk in a quiet voice when we’re in a restaurant.” Then have quiet toys or books to for her to play with.

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