Why I started Playticity
Hi I’m Sam, and I have a story to tell, for those interested in those kind of things.
Growing up in a highly religious home, the youngest in my family by a long shot, as well a committed athlete, I was always left looking to family, friends, coaches, or even a higher power for guidance on how to live. I had dreams of being a professional athlete, or an athletic therapist to get as close to athletics as possible. But as I entered what was supposed to be adulthood, I realized I honestly had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do, and that instead I was what others wanted me to be. My background in sport drew me towards health, and my religious upbringing led me to ask many questions about existence and our place in the world. My inherent curiosity led and continues to lead me to many interesting places, but it led me to one place in particular that made me question everything.
On January 1, 2016. My curiosity peaked and I had a desire to try psychedelics. I read a lot about them, had heard trip reports, and I wanted to see what this was about for myself. My life felt out of sorts, I did not know my path forward, and I hoped that an experience like this could bring me some kind of clarity. I took a high dose of psilocybin mushrooms, and after 30 minutes, my entire human experience started to morph into something much different. I specifically remember calling out to God or whoever could hear me and asking, “what is the meaning of life”. Shortly after, I heard and inner impulse say something to the effect of
“well, you asked for it.”
I was thrust into an experience beyond words. I felt what seemed to be the depths of hell, as well as the glory of heaven. I experienced all of my dreams, and all of my deepest fears. There were moments of terror, and there were moments of complete awe. The experience completely changed how I saw the world and from that moment on I realized I wanted more out of my life than just athletics.
A few weeks passed and I felt something pulling me, but I had no idea what it was.
After receiving my Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology in 2018, I felt stuck, I couldn’t find a job that felt fulfilling, and things felt stagnant in my life. A friend of mine recently moved out to Toronto and asked me if I wanted to come. I felt like the snow globe could use some shaking, so I decided to accept the invitation.
It was my first real taste of freedom and independence, away from all I had known. I had many great as well as difficult experiences there, met many awesome people, as well as my first girlfriend. Its an experience I am thankful to have had, and one I won’t soon forget.
I came back home almost a year later and completed a Master’s of Management degree. Instead of being a physical education teacher (which I had originally intended), I wanted to do something that would give me more freedom and opportunity, even though I didn’t know what that was yet. But after graduation, I was stuck in the same place I was when I began. I was again left with me, myself, and I, and with the same inner voice asking
“ok well, what are you going to do?”
I felt stifled emotionally, stiff physically, and tired of the way things were. Had all of my past experiences taught me nothing? Everything felt the same as they did three years ago. I started to lose hope and became severely depressed and neurotic, I didn’t want to settle for a standard 9–5, but being a health advocate and personal trainer didn’t appeal to me either.
But eventually, a day came around and I remembered something.
When I lived in Toronto I went to a Detroit Lions game (my favorite football team), and stayed overnight at an AirBnB. The host was an old fellow who was retired.
As I entered his home, I got a hostile feeling, (especially in the suburbs of Detroit — A city not known for its welcoming nature). He was short and thin, had a scruffy and a “don’t mess with me” look about him, and was wearing a trucker hat. The first thing that I saw when I entered the home was tons of little pieces of glass on his dresser, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The house had all kinds of crazy posters and eccentric decorum, and I was starting to wonder if I made a mistake coming here.
We started chatting and I asked him about the shards of glass. It turned out he made ornaments and designs out of these pieces, showing me a bunch of the different artwork he had made. He then went on to tell me all kinds of stories of his past, living in New York, owning a bar and night club, and even serving Donald Trump a drink once (a drink which Trump didn’t tip for).
The man could talk, but I started to change my tune. Instead of feeling apprehensive about the situation, I started to immerse myself in his world. Though this man said a lot to me, and had many exciting and interesting tales, there was one thing in particular he said that would prove invaluable in the future.
He told me that when he was 25 (about the age I was at the time), he was at a crossroads, and had no idea what he was going to do with his life. He used the metaphor that he was paddling against the current of the river all his life, hoping to achieve the things he thought he wanted. He strained and strained, but nothing worked, he was losing hope and didn’t know what to do. He went on to tell me that a day came where he decided that the paddles were no good anymore, and he threw them away, deciding to let the current of life take him where it would, for better or for worse.
He said it was the best decision of his life, and it sounded like the current took him on an amazing journey, one he could not have manufactured on his own.
I remember hearing this message at the time, and thinking it was cool, but I never took it to heart. I felt on top of the world, I was living in a new city, took a trip to Detroit, and was going to see my favorite football team play. I had it all figured out.
But as I looked back, I realized that advice is only good if delivered at the right time.
After graduating with a Master’s, being worried about which step I should take, being worried what others would think, and being scared to make a decision — right here and right now was the right time.
What I began to start realizing is that not knowing the path was the point. Nobody could tell me the right path to take, and any attempt to find the answer outside of myself inevitably left me feeling unfulfilled.
All my life I was the young one, all my life I was told how I should do things. I was told to just “grow up,” start making money, and to be responsible already.
But none of this appealed to me.
Instead, I wanted to embark on my own journey, I wanted to follow the curiosities that I had, to find my freedom, and to do what makes me come alive. I decided to follow the advice laid out by Howard Thurman
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Howard Thurman
I realized that all we can do is follow where the current of life takes us. Approaching life with a playful and curious spirit, rather than a rigid and stubborn one. Embracing uncertainty and carving our own path, rather than sticking to the well worn path. These are the things that make all the difference (thanks Robert Frost).
Seeing the string of dissatisfying lives many of us have.
Seeing the rates of depression and loneliness skyrocket,
and seeing a continued lack of meaning in the lifestyles we lead,
is what inspired me to create Playticity.
Playticity is about bringing out that inner voice. Its about following our aliveness, and its about embarking on our own journey.
I’m excited to take this journey with you, build a community of like-minded people, and let the river take us where it will.
Here’s to no paddles,
Playfully,
Sam Goldberg
