You are boring… when you write flat sentences like:

“The man sat down in the chair.”

That is a perfectly valid sentence.

But it bores the shit out of people.

Make it less boring, less like a report, and more interesting.

Here’s a way to do it:

Rewrite your flat sentence with an opinion.

Here are my 10 opinionated sentences:

1. The grandpa plopped onto a wobbly piece of plastic.
2. His father dozed off and woke up with an aching back due to the lack of a tail prop.
3. He hit his head when he realized it was a stool.
4. The doctor sought sedentary relief after a 12-hour savage slice.
5. He smashed the chair when he learned his son was gay.
6. Hand shaking, he approached the armrest, shocked by his son’s news.
7. Uncle George staggered into the next piece of solid wood that gave his restless soul some quiet.
8. How could the bartender know that a sedentary lifestyle would reactivate the quiet thorn in his flesh’s recline?
9. My husband fainted and crashed into my wheelchair.
10. Papa never opened his eyes again once his rump found peaceful rest.

Do you see how I’m delivering my view through words, tone, and arrangement?

Now YOU.

Take a pen and a piece of paper.

Write down “The man sat down in the chair.” and GO!

Rewrite it ten times with an opinion.

What did you come up with?

Share your 10 sentences with me.

Thanks to Tim Grahl, CEO of Story Grid, who inspired me. Check storygrid.com if your goal is to “un-boring your writing.”

Joke Time:

Why did the man sit down in the chair?

Because he heard standing was too up-right!

Or:

What’s the deal with sitting down in a chair? You know, you just sit and it’s over. But if you plop down, now that’s an event! It’s like saying, “I’m here, chair! Take my weight and ALL my troubles.”

Onward,

Alexander “was swooshing, not dawdling, into the bloody bathroom” Kluge

//

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